jingle bells
the best thing about christmas is the boxing day sale. haha. not really lah, although it does make life more exciting. well, i really enjoy being home in singapore for christmas, and spending it with family and close friends. Once again, my family had a potluck cum gift exchange dinner. it was a very singaporean christmassy spread though, with lontong, bak kut teh and chicken rice. my favourite part was the little cardboard christmas tree, lovingly made by my 11-yr old cousin, decorated with handmade ornaments and surrounded by the various to-be-exchanged gifts. =) yay. christmas gives me such a warm and fuzzy feeling.
then it only got better as i met vin, vee and ckw for a cosy christmas countdown/chat at Swisshotel's Introbar. Originally planned to go Cityscape (fantastic views of the city), but changed our minds after finding out about the $40 charge. At midnight, crackers were popped and we had a little water fight with the waterguns hidden inside. We walked out $20 poorer, but refreshed and happy, with multicoloured paper crowns on our heads and a big smile on our faces. but the night was still young, and at ckw's home in "very central" Hougang, we watched The Santa Clause 2 and played mahjong all night long. what a way to celebrate christmas. =)
It would have been nice spending x'mas with him, that's like the only special occasion that we ever get to spend together. well, we'll just have to make up for it in future. =P but it's nice to know that we're both enjoying ourselves, he in New York, and me in Singapore.
we finally got in touch again...guess my family just never told me he called, and he didn't know to try the hp. well, i'm just glad he's safe, and that all this time i was thinking of him, i was never too far away in his thoughts either.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Sunday, December 22, 2002
killing me softly
wonder what's up with him now. Haven't heard anything in a while, and it worries me sick. Is he in germany, or the US or on his way to singapore? sadly, i have no idea. I tell myself to have faith and that he will call soon. but the hours go by, and i get more and more restless. i understand that his airtickets are all unconfirmed, and on standby, meaning that he has to be at the gate before knowing if he's on the flight. and i suppose i've been out, and i just got the hp yesterday. maybe he called, but i didn't know. but i'm so sick of maybes, so sick of telling myself he's okay, so sick of telling myself to trust him to call, and so tired of fighting all this frustration and disappointment.
wonder what's up with him now. Haven't heard anything in a while, and it worries me sick. Is he in germany, or the US or on his way to singapore? sadly, i have no idea. I tell myself to have faith and that he will call soon. but the hours go by, and i get more and more restless. i understand that his airtickets are all unconfirmed, and on standby, meaning that he has to be at the gate before knowing if he's on the flight. and i suppose i've been out, and i just got the hp yesterday. maybe he called, but i didn't know. but i'm so sick of maybes, so sick of telling myself he's okay, so sick of telling myself to trust him to call, and so tired of fighting all this frustration and disappointment.
Thursday, December 19, 2002
trading spaces, changing rooms
mood:
what do you think?
a nice blast of humid, hot air. The first thing to greet me upon my arrival at Changi. yippee. The flight was not too bad. i rather enjoyed the turbulence...the kind that jiggles your cup (filled of course, with orange juice that threatens to slosh all over you) around the tray. It reminds me that i'm somewhere high above the clouds, sitting in a huge hunk of metal powered by uncomfortably tiny engines. Looking out of the window at night, the whirring man-made engines look strangely 'unnatural' against the sky and the blanket of clouds. Like they shouldn't be there at all. It's a miracle, i think, to be on a plane with 200 hundred other people, thousands of feet in the sky. And surreal, to have the stars shining down on you, unwaveringly following you across cities, countries, continents and oceans, as though they were guiding you to a final, safe destination. Well, that's what i tell myself at least. And the rainbow. As the plane left Taipei, i was staring out of the window, wanting to arrive in Singapore real bad. And then suddenly there it was.....not a tiny, faint now-you-see-it-now-you-don't rainbow, but a huge big in-your-face rainbow, the kind that you want EVERYONE to know about. It formed a very pretty multi-coloured halo. i remember thinking: Richard Of York Gave Birth In Vain = Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. Hmm.. how do you remember the colours of the rainbow? Yar. that settled me down a bit, and i conked out for the next 2 hours. =) i sat next to someone who knew some berkeley friends, and who was headed to singapore to visit his girlfriend. good conversation, pretty much by chance since we both made some seat changes. So, time flew by and he got to see my baby bolster and my ugly sleeping face. poor guy.
So that was that. Now that i'm on solid ground and 'home', i feel traces of apprehension about coming back. That strange feeling of having been suddenly displaced, and shoved into this whole new life. I start calling/emailing/contacting friends, unpacking, replacing all the US stuff in my wallet with singapore ones, getting used to the people around you. I feel like a little bird, flittering around and then suddenly returning to the nest it was born, and starting life there all over again. Then, one day, just as it starts looking and feeling more like the home it knows so well, it flies off again, and things change. I know i will start feeling less this way soon. But it's different this time though, coz he'll probably be in New York with the guys, coz he's not around for me to talk to whenever i want to, coz singapore seem that much emptier without him. But i'm not sad or anything. I hope he gets to new york and has a fantastic time. And for me, i can't wait to catch up with old friends, and meet new ones. What's irritating, is having to leave things hanging in the air. Then coming back the next time and trying to pick up from where i left off.
Oh well, no major complaints though. I've spoken to a couple of close friends, and we got all excited about meeting up (sushi buffet and windsurfing, here i come!). Also, i really want to visit my parents in malaysia. Plus, seeing my grandparents' faces light up....priceless. =) yep. don't complain, don't complain. =)
mood:
what do you think?
a nice blast of humid, hot air. The first thing to greet me upon my arrival at Changi. yippee. The flight was not too bad. i rather enjoyed the turbulence...the kind that jiggles your cup (filled of course, with orange juice that threatens to slosh all over you) around the tray. It reminds me that i'm somewhere high above the clouds, sitting in a huge hunk of metal powered by uncomfortably tiny engines. Looking out of the window at night, the whirring man-made engines look strangely 'unnatural' against the sky and the blanket of clouds. Like they shouldn't be there at all. It's a miracle, i think, to be on a plane with 200 hundred other people, thousands of feet in the sky. And surreal, to have the stars shining down on you, unwaveringly following you across cities, countries, continents and oceans, as though they were guiding you to a final, safe destination. Well, that's what i tell myself at least. And the rainbow. As the plane left Taipei, i was staring out of the window, wanting to arrive in Singapore real bad. And then suddenly there it was.....not a tiny, faint now-you-see-it-now-you-don't rainbow, but a huge big in-your-face rainbow, the kind that you want EVERYONE to know about. It formed a very pretty multi-coloured halo. i remember thinking: Richard Of York Gave Birth In Vain = Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. Hmm.. how do you remember the colours of the rainbow? Yar. that settled me down a bit, and i conked out for the next 2 hours. =) i sat next to someone who knew some berkeley friends, and who was headed to singapore to visit his girlfriend. good conversation, pretty much by chance since we both made some seat changes. So, time flew by and he got to see my baby bolster and my ugly sleeping face. poor guy.
So that was that. Now that i'm on solid ground and 'home', i feel traces of apprehension about coming back. That strange feeling of having been suddenly displaced, and shoved into this whole new life. I start calling/emailing/contacting friends, unpacking, replacing all the US stuff in my wallet with singapore ones, getting used to the people around you. I feel like a little bird, flittering around and then suddenly returning to the nest it was born, and starting life there all over again. Then, one day, just as it starts looking and feeling more like the home it knows so well, it flies off again, and things change. I know i will start feeling less this way soon. But it's different this time though, coz he'll probably be in New York with the guys, coz he's not around for me to talk to whenever i want to, coz singapore seem that much emptier without him. But i'm not sad or anything. I hope he gets to new york and has a fantastic time. And for me, i can't wait to catch up with old friends, and meet new ones. What's irritating, is having to leave things hanging in the air. Then coming back the next time and trying to pick up from where i left off.
Oh well, no major complaints though. I've spoken to a couple of close friends, and we got all excited about meeting up (sushi buffet and windsurfing, here i come!). Also, i really want to visit my parents in malaysia. Plus, seeing my grandparents' faces light up....priceless. =) yep. don't complain, don't complain. =)
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
Sunday, December 01, 2002
post-heaven
it never seems to get any easier to say goodbye. I wish that time would stand still for a moment, and allow us to lose ourselves in each other without having to contend with the distractions of reality. This week has been wonderful to say the least. I must admit, that it was initially a little strange placing my hand into his, and a little unnerving opening up my heart so completely once again. But in no time at all, all that we have shared together these past few years came flooding back and my poor heart once again felt the familiar warmth of having someone to love, and the joy of being loved in return. It just felt so right, being together. I miss holding his hand...and playing our crazy 'seow ah' silly look-scratch hand game, taking silly pictures in the museum, brushing teeth while jostling for space over the tiny sink, laughing over our abominable german conversations. Yep, it's been more than three and a half years, and things have only gotten better. We accept the little oddities and quirks, and have learnt to share and trust each other completely. We do have our odd quarrels, but that doesn't change the fact that we're still very much in love. yesh, in love...that describes us pretty well. We still feel giddy with every "i love you", and feel warm and tingly with every hug, we laugh together, with and at each other, and we hold hands more than anyone else in the world (or so we think). hmm..i wish i was back in london by his side...no matter how dreary it may be compared to sunny san francisco. i suppose the next time we'll meet will be spring break..which seems like an eternity from today. it's irritating how little time we get to spend together...but we're zai right? thanks for sending me to the airport today...remember..we're ausgezeichnet, ya?
it never seems to get any easier to say goodbye. I wish that time would stand still for a moment, and allow us to lose ourselves in each other without having to contend with the distractions of reality. This week has been wonderful to say the least. I must admit, that it was initially a little strange placing my hand into his, and a little unnerving opening up my heart so completely once again. But in no time at all, all that we have shared together these past few years came flooding back and my poor heart once again felt the familiar warmth of having someone to love, and the joy of being loved in return. It just felt so right, being together. I miss holding his hand...and playing our crazy 'seow ah' silly look-scratch hand game, taking silly pictures in the museum, brushing teeth while jostling for space over the tiny sink, laughing over our abominable german conversations. Yep, it's been more than three and a half years, and things have only gotten better. We accept the little oddities and quirks, and have learnt to share and trust each other completely. We do have our odd quarrels, but that doesn't change the fact that we're still very much in love. yesh, in love...that describes us pretty well. We still feel giddy with every "i love you", and feel warm and tingly with every hug, we laugh together, with and at each other, and we hold hands more than anyone else in the world (or so we think). hmm..i wish i was back in london by his side...no matter how dreary it may be compared to sunny san francisco. i suppose the next time we'll meet will be spring break..which seems like an eternity from today. it's irritating how little time we get to spend together...but we're zai right? thanks for sending me to the airport today...remember..we're ausgezeichnet, ya?
Monday, November 11, 2002
*grumble*
why does everything seem to be going wrong these 2 weeks? it's not the homework or projects that i have piled up...but just the fact that i can't seem to get through a day without something going wrong. why??? can't wait till thanksgiving...then i can slip my hand into his and wish all my worries away. *sigh*
why does everything seem to be going wrong these 2 weeks? it's not the homework or projects that i have piled up...but just the fact that i can't seem to get through a day without something going wrong. why??? can't wait till thanksgiving...then i can slip my hand into his and wish all my worries away. *sigh*
Friday, November 08, 2002
rained in
I've spent everyday this week in lab...need to relax. the semester is drawing to a close, and i can hardly believe it. On one hand it means i'm alot closer to the thanksgiving trip to london, and to going back home....but it means also that i have to rush all the work that's expected of me in the next 2 weeks. I'm taking my research for units this semester, and so i feel so much more obligation to perform good experiments and obtain sufficient results. Yet up till now i've only managed to run 4 experiments...and am still stuck with gene expression. I still have to do protein assays to get good all rounded results to write up on in my final report (which will be graded). I feel like there is so much work to do in so little time. But it's my fault. I get distracted so easily..and some days i just don't wanna come down to lab at all. Hopefully things change with this horrible weather, because on sunny days i'd very much rather be out in the sun than in lab. i don't know how i'm going to do grad school like this. it requires a whole lot of dedication and focussing wholly in research. It is a full time job. And as of now i cannot see myself being indoors from 9-5 everyday...hopefully the year off will help me decide what the next step in my future will be. bah. i hate RT-PCR. it should be called Really Time-consuming Painfully Complicated Reaction instead. *tear hair out*
and the rain. the rain scares the hell out of me. At the lab where i work, the richmond field station, the winds are horribly strong. For the entire night, i sat alone in lab, listening to the howling wind, waiting for a reaction to complete. When i finally got out, i was so worried that my car had been blown away. okay i'm stupid. anywez, it was fine...but i found a boat...yes, a canoe...lying about 10m from the car...in the middle of the road. how exciting... wonder what i'll find tonight. *sigh* Sometimes i wish that he was nearby, and around to comfort me and make things better. The past 3 days have been hard...with conflicts arising here and there....the storm, blackout, a botched experiment....and what makes it even harder is having to constantly check the clock to make sure it's an okay time in Germany before i can call him and pour my heart out.
What Breed of Hamster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
took this test to destress...courtesy of die fee.
I've spent everyday this week in lab...need to relax. the semester is drawing to a close, and i can hardly believe it. On one hand it means i'm alot closer to the thanksgiving trip to london, and to going back home....but it means also that i have to rush all the work that's expected of me in the next 2 weeks. I'm taking my research for units this semester, and so i feel so much more obligation to perform good experiments and obtain sufficient results. Yet up till now i've only managed to run 4 experiments...and am still stuck with gene expression. I still have to do protein assays to get good all rounded results to write up on in my final report (which will be graded). I feel like there is so much work to do in so little time. But it's my fault. I get distracted so easily..and some days i just don't wanna come down to lab at all. Hopefully things change with this horrible weather, because on sunny days i'd very much rather be out in the sun than in lab. i don't know how i'm going to do grad school like this. it requires a whole lot of dedication and focussing wholly in research. It is a full time job. And as of now i cannot see myself being indoors from 9-5 everyday...hopefully the year off will help me decide what the next step in my future will be. bah. i hate RT-PCR. it should be called Really Time-consuming Painfully Complicated Reaction instead. *tear hair out*
and the rain. the rain scares the hell out of me. At the lab where i work, the richmond field station, the winds are horribly strong. For the entire night, i sat alone in lab, listening to the howling wind, waiting for a reaction to complete. When i finally got out, i was so worried that my car had been blown away. okay i'm stupid. anywez, it was fine...but i found a boat...yes, a canoe...lying about 10m from the car...in the middle of the road. how exciting... wonder what i'll find tonight. *sigh* Sometimes i wish that he was nearby, and around to comfort me and make things better. The past 3 days have been hard...with conflicts arising here and there....the storm, blackout, a botched experiment....and what makes it even harder is having to constantly check the clock to make sure it's an okay time in Germany before i can call him and pour my heart out.
What Breed of Hamster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
took this test to destress...courtesy of die fee.
Friday, November 01, 2002
trick or treat
or 
?
Happy Halloween!! was thinking of joining the throngs of people having a hella great party tonight down at Castro. but as usual, inertia set in. Besides, i wouldn't know what to dress up as. I remember going there in my freshman year. that was fun. 7 of us, 3 girls and 4 guys, packing ourselves into Rob's car (accord..woohoo!!) and paying a bomb for parking. but definitely, the atmostphere was great. People were dancing, posing, and flashing in costumes ranging from wild to beautiful to just plain weird. but everyone was having a wonderful time. Mm. i'm not a part of this big party tonight, so i shan't say anymore...but i hope that hk, f and the rest of u there right now are having lots of fun! =)
well, staying home is not that big a drag too...came across the sanrio homepage..and fell in love with some of the adorabllingest characters with the cutest life stories. i never knew there were so many. i personally like chu-chu ta-co (somehow i like octopusses), Kokko chan, and many many more. some are just so silly sounding, like Landry the Laundry Raccoon or the Seven Silly Dwarfs....*sigh* really know how to pull at heartstrings la...haha..or maybe i just need to grow up. *grinz*
or ?
Happy Halloween!! was thinking of joining the throngs of people having a hella great party tonight down at Castro. but as usual, inertia set in. Besides, i wouldn't know what to dress up as. I remember going there in my freshman year. that was fun. 7 of us, 3 girls and 4 guys, packing ourselves into Rob's car (accord..woohoo!!) and paying a bomb for parking. but definitely, the atmostphere was great. People were dancing, posing, and flashing in costumes ranging from wild to beautiful to just plain weird. but everyone was having a wonderful time. Mm. i'm not a part of this big party tonight, so i shan't say anymore...but i hope that hk, f and the rest of u there right now are having lots of fun! =)
well, staying home is not that big a drag too...came across the sanrio homepage..and fell in love with some of the adorabllingest characters with the cutest life stories. i never knew there were so many. i personally like chu-chu ta-co (somehow i like octopusses), Kokko chan, and many many more. some are just so silly sounding, like Landry the Laundry Raccoon or the Seven Silly Dwarfs....*sigh* really know how to pull at heartstrings la...haha..or maybe i just need to grow up. *grinz*
Monday, October 28, 2002
cha cha cha
well, it was not really chacha, but salsa dancing that i tried last night. It was interesting...tons of people packed into the Allegro Ballroom in Emeryville, all there to enjoy some rest and relax on a sunday night. But no, it wasn't that relaxing after all. The music was great, but after minutes upon minutes of continuous feet tapping and overhead twirls, i felt like i had just gotten a good workout. Also, it was rather strange dancing with so many random guys. we paired up in a huge circle and girls moved around to switch partners once in a while...yeah, kinda like the girl guides 'New Friend Found' campfire song. so i started off dancing with a fellow UC student...but as the lesson progressed i must have danced with men of all ages, heights and races. T'was a little uncomfortable...which took something away from the dancing itself. Oh well, perhaps next time i'll have to drag someone down with me. Nevertheless i still had a wonderful time, and hmm...i'm kinda inspired to take dance classes now.
haven't written much in the past few weeks. I guess i have to be in the right mood to write (this is why i've never been able to keep a journal). But i've been feeling very happy recently. There are just so many things to smile about. =) School has been good to me. Did surprisingly well for all my midterms (and i only have one round *phew*) and quizzes...which really encouraged me to do my homework more consistently and diligently...for about 2 days. Anyway, i will not complain about work, coz in fact, i'm rather thankful. Then i've been trying out stuff with TBP...like i went rock climbing not too long ago at Berkeley Ironworks. Arms were aching, fingers were sore, and now i know for sure, i have a looooooooong way to go to become a decent rockclimber. but, still fun lah. Although I would have enjoyed it more had i gone with people i knew better....so anyone interested in any of these activities? Also, the weather has begun to clear (*cross fingers*) these couple of days. No more hours upon hours of freezing cold and gloominess. Today's weather is simply excellent. I love tank top weather. think i'll go lie in the sun for a bit now. yay! And finally, less than a month to London...yippee!! we've both been really happy with us for really long now. summer was just wonderful..and the magic has kinda lasted till now. *big grin*
NEW FRIEND FOUND
As...we walk to the left and
We walk to the right
And we walk (3x) all night
With a heel and a toe and a half turn a round,
With a heel and a toe and a new friend found.
well, it was not really chacha, but salsa dancing that i tried last night. It was interesting...tons of people packed into the Allegro Ballroom in Emeryville, all there to enjoy some rest and relax on a sunday night. But no, it wasn't that relaxing after all. The music was great, but after minutes upon minutes of continuous feet tapping and overhead twirls, i felt like i had just gotten a good workout. Also, it was rather strange dancing with so many random guys. we paired up in a huge circle and girls moved around to switch partners once in a while...yeah, kinda like the girl guides 'New Friend Found' campfire song. so i started off dancing with a fellow UC student...but as the lesson progressed i must have danced with men of all ages, heights and races. T'was a little uncomfortable...which took something away from the dancing itself. Oh well, perhaps next time i'll have to drag someone down with me. Nevertheless i still had a wonderful time, and hmm...i'm kinda inspired to take dance classes now.
haven't written much in the past few weeks. I guess i have to be in the right mood to write (this is why i've never been able to keep a journal). But i've been feeling very happy recently. There are just so many things to smile about. =) School has been good to me. Did surprisingly well for all my midterms (and i only have one round *phew*) and quizzes...which really encouraged me to do my homework more consistently and diligently...for about 2 days. Anyway, i will not complain about work, coz in fact, i'm rather thankful. Then i've been trying out stuff with TBP...like i went rock climbing not too long ago at Berkeley Ironworks. Arms were aching, fingers were sore, and now i know for sure, i have a looooooooong way to go to become a decent rockclimber. but, still fun lah. Although I would have enjoyed it more had i gone with people i knew better....so anyone interested in any of these activities? Also, the weather has begun to clear (*cross fingers*) these couple of days. No more hours upon hours of freezing cold and gloominess. Today's weather is simply excellent. I love tank top weather. think i'll go lie in the sun for a bit now. yay! And finally, less than a month to London...yippee!! we've both been really happy with us for really long now. summer was just wonderful..and the magic has kinda lasted till now. *big grin*
NEW FRIEND FOUND
As...we walk to the left and
We walk to the right
And we walk (3x) all night
With a heel and a toe and a half turn a round,
With a heel and a toe and a new friend found.
Thursday, October 24, 2002
*sigh* those americans...
a london review on some website, by an american (surprise surprise):
To your left. To your left. To your left.
I'm fairly certain that the British proclivity for doing everything to the left is not just a product of Tony Blair's government. I recall hearing about this driving on the left thing even when Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister.
So, to all the other cultures, most without nuclear weapons and a Hostage Rescue Team that could abduct our political leaders and steal off into the night without detection, who continue to say that the U.S. is a big problem to the world for sticking with the English system of measurement -- despite even the English having hurriedly tossed it aside like a prophylactic wrapper before an elevator interlude -- I say look at those same English. Most of the rest of the world (civilized and otherwise) drives to the right. We board escalators to the right. By gosh, we even tend to walk to the right on crowded sidewalks. Being different for the sake of being different isn't cool... it's annoying. And it's un-American. Fix it.
a london review on some website, by an american (surprise surprise):
To your left. To your left. To your left.
I'm fairly certain that the British proclivity for doing everything to the left is not just a product of Tony Blair's government. I recall hearing about this driving on the left thing even when Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister.
So, to all the other cultures, most without nuclear weapons and a Hostage Rescue Team that could abduct our political leaders and steal off into the night without detection, who continue to say that the U.S. is a big problem to the world for sticking with the English system of measurement -- despite even the English having hurriedly tossed it aside like a prophylactic wrapper before an elevator interlude -- I say look at those same English. Most of the rest of the world (civilized and otherwise) drives to the right. We board escalators to the right. By gosh, we even tend to walk to the right on crowded sidewalks. Being different for the sake of being different isn't cool... it's annoying. And it's un-American. Fix it.
Monday, October 21, 2002
monday morning blues
have u peeked out of your window yet? the street is completely covered in fog...can barely see the houses 2 streets away. boo. makes me not wanna leave the comfort of my room to trudge through the cold muggy air just for a statistics lecture. It's pretty fun though, driving through fog...where you can't really see much anywhere around you. if i were feeling really mean, i could sneak up behind the car in front...and horn real loud. hehe. so horrible. must be the fog messing up with my usually pristine thoughts. apparently it's supposed to clear up into a sunny afternoon...we'll see about that! =)
have u peeked out of your window yet? the street is completely covered in fog...can barely see the houses 2 streets away. boo. makes me not wanna leave the comfort of my room to trudge through the cold muggy air just for a statistics lecture. It's pretty fun though, driving through fog...where you can't really see much anywhere around you. if i were feeling really mean, i could sneak up behind the car in front...and horn real loud. hehe. so horrible. must be the fog messing up with my usually pristine thoughts. apparently it's supposed to clear up into a sunny afternoon...we'll see about that! =)
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
a hope in hell
LUCIFER: Helmet or no, you have no power here... what power have dreams in hell?
MORPHEUS: You say I have no power? Perhaps you speak truly... But, you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar.. Ask yourselves, all of you... What power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream of Heaven?
LUCIFER: Helmet or no, you have no power here... what power have dreams in hell?
MORPHEUS: You say I have no power? Perhaps you speak truly... But, you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar.. Ask yourselves, all of you... What power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream of Heaven?
Monday, October 14, 2002
weekend's end
mood:
stuffed
feeling real full right now. *burp* juz came back from an 8 course dinner with kok's grandfather in SF. Ah, the joys of having a big car. =) sure kena invited one. hehe. but now it's time to hit my books again, coz i've got a midterm at 8am, followed by 2 quizzes. i hate mondays.
anywez, i've managed to get my archive for september up and running. there's something wrong with the script so i had to add it using brute force. looks like whatever little HTML i know came in handy.
on a more sombre note, the world is just not safe anywhere anymore. pretty sickening stuff.
mood:
stuffed
feeling real full right now. *burp* juz came back from an 8 course dinner with kok's grandfather in SF. Ah, the joys of having a big car. =) sure kena invited one. hehe. but now it's time to hit my books again, coz i've got a midterm at 8am, followed by 2 quizzes. i hate mondays.
anywez, i've managed to get my archive for september up and running. there's something wrong with the script so i had to add it using brute force. looks like whatever little HTML i know came in handy.
on a more sombre note, the world is just not safe anywhere anymore. pretty sickening stuff.
Sunday, October 13, 2002
duck soup for the soul
yay!! i made kiam chye ak (duck w/ salted vegetables) soup for dinner today. many thanks to mum and grandma for their help. yippeeeee! although it is not as nice as my granny's soup, it was still a nice reminder of yummilicious home cooked food. mmmm. i'll go to bed happy tonight. =)
yepyep, had a happy day. slept in till 1130...then checked our some garage sales with hk. garage sales are fun...you get to discover hidden treasures , while enjoying the fresh air and sunshine at the same time. There's something magical about soaking in the sunshine, and feeling the wind in your hair, while being driven around in a cool blue convertible with the top down. Then, the Blue Angels (kinda like our Black Knights) airshow was going on in SF at 3pm, so we took a drive up Moeser Lane, hoping to catch a glimpse of the jets. the view of the bay was as usual, breathtaking. But unfortunately the planes were the size of ants lor...so quite hard to see them do any 'seh' formations. Nevertheless, just standing on the road divider high up on the hill, on a sunny, cloudless day was a thrill in itself. After that, watched Cal-USC football game. we lost. damn, i think i'm a jinx to the football team. the last time i watched, we lost too. poor hk, i think it affected him enough to mess up his mood. uh oh. hope he feels better soon.
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three people in the past three days have asked me if i cut my hair. no, i have not, although it'll be nice if my hair could spontaneously groom itself. then i could change hairstyles everyday. then i could go rob a bank and no one would know. right.
yay!! i made kiam chye ak (duck w/ salted vegetables) soup for dinner today. many thanks to mum and grandma for their help. yippeeeee! although it is not as nice as my granny's soup, it was still a nice reminder of yummilicious home cooked food. mmmm. i'll go to bed happy tonight. =)
yepyep, had a happy day. slept in till 1130...then checked our some garage sales with hk. garage sales are fun...you get to discover hidden treasures , while enjoying the fresh air and sunshine at the same time. There's something magical about soaking in the sunshine, and feeling the wind in your hair, while being driven around in a cool blue convertible with the top down. Then, the Blue Angels (kinda like our Black Knights) airshow was going on in SF at 3pm, so we took a drive up Moeser Lane, hoping to catch a glimpse of the jets. the view of the bay was as usual, breathtaking. But unfortunately the planes were the size of ants lor...so quite hard to see them do any 'seh' formations. Nevertheless, just standing on the road divider high up on the hill, on a sunny, cloudless day was a thrill in itself. After that, watched Cal-USC football game. we lost. damn, i think i'm a jinx to the football team. the last time i watched, we lost too. poor hk, i think it affected him enough to mess up his mood. uh oh. hope he feels better soon.
----------------
three people in the past three days have asked me if i cut my hair. no, i have not, although it'll be nice if my hair could spontaneously groom itself. then i could change hairstyles everyday. then i could go rob a bank and no one would know. right.
Saturday, October 12, 2002
she was
it suddenly struck me that my grandmother was dead. i hadn't thought of it for a long while. i felt guilty, because maybe it meant that i didn't care enough, didn't think of her enough. There i was sitting in my garage, talking to my other grandma on the hp. i was trying to grovel some yummy recipes out of her, and she very gladly told me exactly what to do(not that i understood what she said). It was really fun speaking to her in broken hokkien and getting a reply in broken engrish. yar, so anyway. My grandfather seemed practically overjoyed that i was calling for recipes. He was like smiling so hard that i could hear a bigbig grin in his voice. you know what i mean? And so the conversation ended on a very good note, and happy was i.
Then it occured to me that i don't do this same thing with my other grandmother. and i remembered, with a pang of regret, that she had passed on. Despite the daily visits to the hospital, the funeral, the prayers and the like over summer, it just hasn't really sunk in yet. She's dead. dead. but life for us goes on, just like it did before. I didn't cry then, i haven't cried till now. i don't think i will, ever, about her death. but i miss her. To me, she was always the 'other' grandmother. She was not the one who raised me. i never lived with her. She was not the loving, maternal one. She never hugged or showed her affection. She was not the generous and giving one. she never gave presents. She was not the interesting one. she kept on talking about her past, things that happened months, years and even decades ago. the same things over and over and over again.
BUT. She was the fiercely independant one, she brought up 2 adopted children, unmarried, all by herself. She was the one that never complained. she just kept on going. She was the strong one. she never fell ill, and never complained when she was (up till the day she died). She had lost most of her property during the Japanese occupation, but she scrimped and saved to put my dad through university. She was frugal (in every sense of the word). Her nice clothes were just a newer brighter version of her everyday clothes. She never ate more than enough. didn't crave the good things in life. thought that everything was more expensive than it should be. she even asked for a not-too-elaborate funeral. She looked almost the same everyday for 21 years of my life. the same unfussy hair and clothes. everyday. the same spunky old lady who refused to give in to old age. Her sprit never left her, till the day she died. It was her body that gave up.
She was 93 when she died. a ripe old age. She was admirable in every way. i wish that it didn't take her illness for me to spend more time with her. I learnt quite a bit more about her in those few months. why she chose to adopt children, her family background, and so on. but more importantly, i learnt that she loved us so much despite not showing it, that she too craved affection, that she liked having her hand held. I learnt that like us, she has her own special stories to share about things that mean a lot to her. She was once 21 too, and must have felt as we do now. hopeful about the future...experiencing first love...making new friends...exploring new found freedom? yet somehow, to the younger generations, the memories of an old person just doesn't seem to be as real. but one day, we will be in their shoes, and what happened to us today, will then be seen as nothing more than insignificant recollections of our past.
I still remember looking at her body that night, and upon seeing it so devoid of life, i felt weird. Didn't cry but was a little shocked. Because it just didn't really seem like her to die. Yup. it was then that i realised what a incredibly strong person she had been, and how she never showed any signs of weariness for life. And how she just kept on living each day without thinking about the end.
I cry, not because of her death, but because i miss her, and the strength that she showed.
and because the world needs more people like her.
it suddenly struck me that my grandmother was dead. i hadn't thought of it for a long while. i felt guilty, because maybe it meant that i didn't care enough, didn't think of her enough. There i was sitting in my garage, talking to my other grandma on the hp. i was trying to grovel some yummy recipes out of her, and she very gladly told me exactly what to do(not that i understood what she said). It was really fun speaking to her in broken hokkien and getting a reply in broken engrish. yar, so anyway. My grandfather seemed practically overjoyed that i was calling for recipes. He was like smiling so hard that i could hear a bigbig grin in his voice. you know what i mean? And so the conversation ended on a very good note, and happy was i.
Then it occured to me that i don't do this same thing with my other grandmother. and i remembered, with a pang of regret, that she had passed on. Despite the daily visits to the hospital, the funeral, the prayers and the like over summer, it just hasn't really sunk in yet. She's dead. dead. but life for us goes on, just like it did before. I didn't cry then, i haven't cried till now. i don't think i will, ever, about her death. but i miss her. To me, she was always the 'other' grandmother. She was not the one who raised me. i never lived with her. She was not the loving, maternal one. She never hugged or showed her affection. She was not the generous and giving one. she never gave presents. She was not the interesting one. she kept on talking about her past, things that happened months, years and even decades ago. the same things over and over and over again.
BUT. She was the fiercely independant one, she brought up 2 adopted children, unmarried, all by herself. She was the one that never complained. she just kept on going. She was the strong one. she never fell ill, and never complained when she was (up till the day she died). She had lost most of her property during the Japanese occupation, but she scrimped and saved to put my dad through university. She was frugal (in every sense of the word). Her nice clothes were just a newer brighter version of her everyday clothes. She never ate more than enough. didn't crave the good things in life. thought that everything was more expensive than it should be. she even asked for a not-too-elaborate funeral. She looked almost the same everyday for 21 years of my life. the same unfussy hair and clothes. everyday. the same spunky old lady who refused to give in to old age. Her sprit never left her, till the day she died. It was her body that gave up.
She was 93 when she died. a ripe old age. She was admirable in every way. i wish that it didn't take her illness for me to spend more time with her. I learnt quite a bit more about her in those few months. why she chose to adopt children, her family background, and so on. but more importantly, i learnt that she loved us so much despite not showing it, that she too craved affection, that she liked having her hand held. I learnt that like us, she has her own special stories to share about things that mean a lot to her. She was once 21 too, and must have felt as we do now. hopeful about the future...experiencing first love...making new friends...exploring new found freedom? yet somehow, to the younger generations, the memories of an old person just doesn't seem to be as real. but one day, we will be in their shoes, and what happened to us today, will then be seen as nothing more than insignificant recollections of our past.
I still remember looking at her body that night, and upon seeing it so devoid of life, i felt weird. Didn't cry but was a little shocked. Because it just didn't really seem like her to die. Yup. it was then that i realised what a incredibly strong person she had been, and how she never showed any signs of weariness for life. And how she just kept on living each day without thinking about the end.
I cry, not because of her death, but because i miss her, and the strength that she showed.
and because the world needs more people like her.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
blogger woes
help! my posts for the month of september are not appearing in the archives. dunno know what is wrong. blogger hates me. i really want a layout change soon. perhaps this will be the final push i need. but not this week lah. too much work. feeling so bogged down. need to go back to bashing my head into the wall. argh.
hmm. i have a tingly feeling on my cheek. wonder why. *prodprod*
mebbe someone sent me a flying kiss.
heh, this is how i make myself feel better.
so sad hor?
help! my posts for the month of september are not appearing in the archives. dunno know what is wrong. blogger hates me. i really want a layout change soon. perhaps this will be the final push i need. but not this week lah. too much work. feeling so bogged down. need to go back to bashing my head into the wall. argh.
hmm. i have a tingly feeling on my cheek. wonder why. *prodprod*
mebbe someone sent me a flying kiss.
heh, this is how i make myself feel better.
so sad hor?
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
morning blues
woke up at 7am this morning, thinking that i had a class at 8. but class is at 10am. oh well, but since i am up, i am up...albeit rather grouchy. bewarebeware. oh well, guess watching sesame street in german class later won't require thaaat much thinking. got an email from someone i met over summer, in singapore. what a pleasant surprise to hear from die Fee. our other halves are long-time friends, with a common interest in music, guitar and err..messiness. met her only once though, and was left with a good impression. i bought a pair of handmade earrings from her, and sold her a bracelet in turn, amidst the bustling crowd at the Clarke Quay sunday flea market. enjoyed that conversation at CHIJmes too. beautiful memories of summer. i really had a wonderful three months...three wonderful months where i didn't bother to blog coz i was having too much fun!
happy! just spoke to daryl on the phone.. he's moved into a permanent place, finally! and now there's a telephone number where i can call him and bother him whenever, rather than staring at the phone and willing it to ring. =) poor boy doesn't know how to cook. he went to the asian supermarket and bought...*drumroll*...instant noodles. how exciting hor? hehe. can't wait till thanksgiving to see him again. perhaps his hair will have all fallen out by then.
gotta rush to school now, time flies by when you're having fun, doesn't it?
woke up at 7am this morning, thinking that i had a class at 8. but class is at 10am. oh well, but since i am up, i am up...albeit rather grouchy. bewarebeware. oh well, guess watching sesame street in german class later won't require thaaat much thinking. got an email from someone i met over summer, in singapore. what a pleasant surprise to hear from die Fee. our other halves are long-time friends, with a common interest in music, guitar and err..messiness. met her only once though, and was left with a good impression. i bought a pair of handmade earrings from her, and sold her a bracelet in turn, amidst the bustling crowd at the Clarke Quay sunday flea market. enjoyed that conversation at CHIJmes too. beautiful memories of summer. i really had a wonderful three months...three wonderful months where i didn't bother to blog coz i was having too much fun!
happy! just spoke to daryl on the phone.. he's moved into a permanent place, finally! and now there's a telephone number where i can call him and bother him whenever, rather than staring at the phone and willing it to ring. =) poor boy doesn't know how to cook. he went to the asian supermarket and bought...*drumroll*...instant noodles. how exciting hor? hehe. can't wait till thanksgiving to see him again. perhaps his hair will have all fallen out by then.
gotta rush to school now, time flies by when you're having fun, doesn't it?
Sunday, October 06, 2002
weekend snapshots
mood:
hard at work (i hope)
Had a great weekend, and don't want it to end coz *sigh* i have a midterm monday morning, for one the the classes that i'm clueless about homework but life goes on anyways coz who gives a heck about me?
Friday i went to the CSA karaoke (noooo...not ka-ri-oh-kee) competition. It was pretty entertaining, and Xiaowei was really good. She did two pitch perfect renditions of Ah-Mei songs, but lost out to a kinda toot guy with an andy lau-ish voice (who sang Eric Moo for the final! ack!) and the ultimate winner, a caucasian girl(singing in english) who truly deserved the win, although some people were kinda peeved at that.There was a funny Jay Chou rap, the usual Jeff Chang ballad plus impossible to sing Coco Lee and Sun Yan Zi songs.. but sadly the MCs were making bad jokes (sea lion noises?!) and were kinda toot. oh well. Popped down to 88 dwinelle too...and the Singapore movie night night seemed to have been quite a success. I Not Stupid is a really good movie, and is in a language that more accurately reflects our own. There's a right mix of english, mandarin, hokkien and slang such that we can relate to what is being enacted on screen. Wanted to watch it again...but couldn't be in 2 places at one time. =(
Saturday was great too. Went up to Tilden for TBP picnic thing...the entire thing was rather disorganized. They almost couldn't have a BBQ coz no one had a light. But it was a glorious way to enjoy a beautiful sunny morning. but it got better. After the picnic Kai and i drove down to the Tilden golf course (but only after getting a little lost) and spent the afternoon at the driving range. I'm terribly lousy at it, can't seem to hit the ball right smack in the center. *sniff* can't wait to go down again, despite the blisters and sore muscles. Yep... it was nice to spend a lazy afternoon with a good friend. But it got better.
Spent the better part of saturday night at Henry's with Kok and Kai, and once again really enjoyed myself. Mentioned it before in the 22nd Sept entry...and it was nice all over again. It's funny how kok doesn't really bother to act all proper in front of me..and does all this vulgar swearing and makes all these crude jokes (about me even! boo!! )....and strangely, i just have hella lot of fun. The three of us talk about soccer, football, people, the past, chio bus, our other halves, and even how male porn stars have the best job in the world (says Kok, like he knows). But, i suspect i was just asked along to be the designated driver, should Kai drink his brains out. =P but they only had 4 beers each, so i had to join in the fun too right? Tried a 'Van Gogh Appletini'...stylo eh? It was pretty tasty, no strong alcoholic bitterness at all...though it was quite strong. Yar, trust me, i drank on an empty stomach. Bad idea. but no, i didn't end the night stumbling down stairs, crashing my car into a tree, or waking up in a strange bed. I bought pad thai...which thankfully helped. Great fun. looking forward till next weekend when we'll do it again. Must practice right? coz he doesn't drink, and i'll have to down all the yam sengs. =) hehz...wishful thinking.
And the magic continued on till today even. Woke up to a liverpool-chealsea match, with great company to boot. Fellow liverpool fan Sudhir came by with a bowl of his super chicken curry, and we enjoyed a last-gasp liverpool victory (woohoo!). Mmm, what a way to start the day. had a heartwarming conversation with darly, and it felt like the conversation would never end...but it had to, eventually, but it helped chase some of that loneliness away. It's never the same not having each other around. the world becomes ever that much more beautiful when you've got someone to share it with. argh. stop thinking about this. stopstopstop! thanksgiving come soon!
yar, i haven't done anything much despite a midterm tomorrow. As of now, i have not yet started studying for the class. However, i have dilligently planned my schedule for next semester, watched some tv, taken a nap, blogged, and eaten. I have even written a 300 word fairytale, in german. Astute readers will accurately deduce that yes, i am screwed.
and the weather so so damn hot.
“It’s difficult to fish in Singapore waters. Because fishes in Singapore are like Singaporeans, die also don’t open mouth.”
--I Not Stupid
mood:
hard at work (i hope)
Had a great weekend, and don't want it to end coz *sigh* i have a midterm monday morning, for one the the classes that i'm clueless about homework but life goes on anyways coz who gives a heck about me?
Friday i went to the CSA karaoke (noooo...not ka-ri-oh-kee) competition. It was pretty entertaining, and Xiaowei was really good. She did two pitch perfect renditions of Ah-Mei songs, but lost out to a kinda toot guy with an andy lau-ish voice (who sang Eric Moo for the final! ack!) and the ultimate winner, a caucasian girl(singing in english) who truly deserved the win, although some people were kinda peeved at that.There was a funny Jay Chou rap, the usual Jeff Chang ballad plus impossible to sing Coco Lee and Sun Yan Zi songs.. but sadly the MCs were making bad jokes (sea lion noises?!) and were kinda toot. oh well. Popped down to 88 dwinelle too...and the Singapore movie night night seemed to have been quite a success. I Not Stupid is a really good movie, and is in a language that more accurately reflects our own. There's a right mix of english, mandarin, hokkien and slang such that we can relate to what is being enacted on screen. Wanted to watch it again...but couldn't be in 2 places at one time. =(
Saturday was great too. Went up to Tilden for TBP picnic thing...the entire thing was rather disorganized. They almost couldn't have a BBQ coz no one had a light. But it was a glorious way to enjoy a beautiful sunny morning. but it got better. After the picnic Kai and i drove down to the Tilden golf course (but only after getting a little lost) and spent the afternoon at the driving range. I'm terribly lousy at it, can't seem to hit the ball right smack in the center. *sniff* can't wait to go down again, despite the blisters and sore muscles. Yep... it was nice to spend a lazy afternoon with a good friend. But it got better.
Spent the better part of saturday night at Henry's with Kok and Kai, and once again really enjoyed myself. Mentioned it before in the 22nd Sept entry...and it was nice all over again. It's funny how kok doesn't really bother to act all proper in front of me..and does all this vulgar swearing and makes all these crude jokes (about me even! boo!! )....and strangely, i just have hella lot of fun. The three of us talk about soccer, football, people, the past, chio bus, our other halves, and even how male porn stars have the best job in the world (says Kok, like he knows). But, i suspect i was just asked along to be the designated driver, should Kai drink his brains out. =P but they only had 4 beers each, so i had to join in the fun too right? Tried a 'Van Gogh Appletini'...stylo eh? It was pretty tasty, no strong alcoholic bitterness at all...though it was quite strong. Yar, trust me, i drank on an empty stomach. Bad idea. but no, i didn't end the night stumbling down stairs, crashing my car into a tree, or waking up in a strange bed. I bought pad thai...which thankfully helped. Great fun. looking forward till next weekend when we'll do it again. Must practice right? coz he doesn't drink, and i'll have to down all the yam sengs. =) hehz...wishful thinking.
And the magic continued on till today even. Woke up to a liverpool-chealsea match, with great company to boot. Fellow liverpool fan Sudhir came by with a bowl of his super chicken curry, and we enjoyed a last-gasp liverpool victory (woohoo!). Mmm, what a way to start the day. had a heartwarming conversation with darly, and it felt like the conversation would never end...but it had to, eventually, but it helped chase some of that loneliness away. It's never the same not having each other around. the world becomes ever that much more beautiful when you've got someone to share it with. argh. stop thinking about this. stopstopstop! thanksgiving come soon!
yar, i haven't done anything much despite a midterm tomorrow. As of now, i have not yet started studying for the class. However, i have dilligently planned my schedule for next semester, watched some tv, taken a nap, blogged, and eaten. I have even written a 300 word fairytale, in german. Astute readers will accurately deduce that yes, i am screwed.
and the weather so so damn hot.
“It’s difficult to fish in Singapore waters. Because fishes in Singapore are like Singaporeans, die also don’t open mouth.”
--I Not Stupid
Thursday, October 03, 2002
NAYS!
worryworryworry...i'm going to do so badly. It is my worst and most stressful semester ever. don't know how to do BioE homework. i feel so stupid. My classmate and i spent the entire night working on it. Yesh, i slept at 5am this morning...i don't know how i managed to drive back from Berkeley. boo. Plus, most of our answers were crap. i'm going to do below the mean for this homework, AGAIN. *tears hair out* i need chocolate...
----------------
we get to talk so little. too little. he's unreachable right now. calls me from a pay fone as often as he cans. but there's only one that seems to be able to call toll-free. plus, its expensive. but so much is happening right now. i just need to know what is happening with him. whether he's safe, whether he's eaten, whether he's got housing. i have all these questions to ask...and he has so much to tell....but at 50 cents/min...we really can't afford the luxury of long conversations twice a day. wish i could fly over right now. *sigh*
YAYS!
Liverpool 5 - Spartak Moscow 0
Schumi-Barrichello 1-2
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another reason why i can't wait for him to get housing: I found the perfect card for him a few days ago. absolutely p-e-r-f-e-c-t. =)
worryworryworry...i'm going to do so badly. It is my worst and most stressful semester ever. don't know how to do BioE homework. i feel so stupid. My classmate and i spent the entire night working on it. Yesh, i slept at 5am this morning...i don't know how i managed to drive back from Berkeley. boo. Plus, most of our answers were crap. i'm going to do below the mean for this homework, AGAIN. *tears hair out* i need chocolate...
----------------
we get to talk so little. too little. he's unreachable right now. calls me from a pay fone as often as he cans. but there's only one that seems to be able to call toll-free. plus, its expensive. but so much is happening right now. i just need to know what is happening with him. whether he's safe, whether he's eaten, whether he's got housing. i have all these questions to ask...and he has so much to tell....but at 50 cents/min...we really can't afford the luxury of long conversations twice a day. wish i could fly over right now. *sigh*
YAYS!
Liverpool 5 - Spartak Moscow 0
Schumi-Barrichello 1-2
---------------
another reason why i can't wait for him to get housing: I found the perfect card for him a few days ago. absolutely p-e-r-f-e-c-t. =)
Monday, September 30, 2002
eine ganze neue Welt
to my dearest friends:
jia you!!
sending lotsa luv to V back home in singapore...hope you're fine. You've got all of us there for you....so don't worry too much...and write as many emails as you need to let off all that steam. i'm looking forward to the meeting this weekend, will be nice to enjoy the first 'reunion' in 6 weeks. Lotsa huggies from me to you, i'm sure everything will turn out just fine...just take good care of yourself okie? And i'm sure all those many guys around u (*raise eyebrows*) will be there for u too! so yar, write more...wanna hear more about your lives too ya?
--------------
"do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
he should be landing in Frankfurt in less than an hour. i can't help but worry that something bad will happen...13 long hours...how i wish that i could have been there to send him off, to help him with packing, to hold his hand and reassure him, to hug him and tell him to take care, to let him know how much he's loved. but nevertheless, i'm really proud of him for making this decision. for sticking with it despite the many doubts and uncertainties that came with it. for being brave enough to move to a foreign land, enrolled in a university where there is no one at all to tell you where to go, what to do next, and what to expect. *sigh* I can't wait to hear his voice again...and to be the first to share his thoughts upon arriving in the country he will call 'home' for the next 3 years. Boo...the daily hour-long phone calls are never enough....but i suppose that just makes the thought of spending the rest of our lives together that much sweeter. =) but for now, it's back to homework for me. gotta brush up my german, and hopefully realize my dreams of joining him in germany after graduation.
to my dearest friends:
jia you!!
sending lotsa luv to V back home in singapore...hope you're fine. You've got all of us there for you....so don't worry too much...and write as many emails as you need to let off all that steam. i'm looking forward to the meeting this weekend, will be nice to enjoy the first 'reunion' in 6 weeks. Lotsa huggies from me to you, i'm sure everything will turn out just fine...just take good care of yourself okie? And i'm sure all those many guys around u (*raise eyebrows*) will be there for u too! so yar, write more...wanna hear more about your lives too ya?
--------------
"do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
he should be landing in Frankfurt in less than an hour. i can't help but worry that something bad will happen...13 long hours...how i wish that i could have been there to send him off, to help him with packing, to hold his hand and reassure him, to hug him and tell him to take care, to let him know how much he's loved. but nevertheless, i'm really proud of him for making this decision. for sticking with it despite the many doubts and uncertainties that came with it. for being brave enough to move to a foreign land, enrolled in a university where there is no one at all to tell you where to go, what to do next, and what to expect. *sigh* I can't wait to hear his voice again...and to be the first to share his thoughts upon arriving in the country he will call 'home' for the next 3 years. Boo...the daily hour-long phone calls are never enough....but i suppose that just makes the thought of spending the rest of our lives together that much sweeter. =) but for now, it's back to homework for me. gotta brush up my german, and hopefully realize my dreams of joining him in germany after graduation.
Friday, September 27, 2002
at long last
finally, it's all been settled. no longer do i feel stressed. Instead, i am happy, excited, and nervous all in one. i have that butterfly-in-your-tummy feeling u get when u know that something big and exciting is about to happen, yet you don't know exactly how it'll turn out. I don't want to think about it too much...afterall there are 57 days to go. And i can't deal with all the suspense. so i'll just let the happiness and excitement gradually build up...and hopefully when i step foot in London, i'll still have tons of enthusiasm to spare, despite the gloomy weather, chilly winds and atrocious exchange rate. yippee!
there will be many of us RJCians there, and how fun it will be to have a mini 'reunion'. the birthday party gives an excuse to feel better about the $500 and 3 days of school sacrificed for a week-long trip across the Atlantic. *sigh* i remember my last trip to London in sec 4, with my mum. The trip was (quoting Notting Hill), "surreal, but nice". this time, it sounds even more enticing with a certain special someone also flying in from germany. oh i can't wait! life is good. one can easily get lost in the beauty of europe. Magic happens there.
finally, it's all been settled. no longer do i feel stressed. Instead, i am happy, excited, and nervous all in one. i have that butterfly-in-your-tummy feeling u get when u know that something big and exciting is about to happen, yet you don't know exactly how it'll turn out. I don't want to think about it too much...afterall there are 57 days to go. And i can't deal with all the suspense. so i'll just let the happiness and excitement gradually build up...and hopefully when i step foot in London, i'll still have tons of enthusiasm to spare, despite the gloomy weather, chilly winds and atrocious exchange rate. yippee!
there will be many of us RJCians there, and how fun it will be to have a mini 'reunion'. the birthday party gives an excuse to feel better about the $500 and 3 days of school sacrificed for a week-long trip across the Atlantic. *sigh* i remember my last trip to London in sec 4, with my mum. The trip was (quoting Notting Hill), "surreal, but nice". this time, it sounds even more enticing with a certain special someone also flying in from germany. oh i can't wait! life is good. one can easily get lost in the beauty of europe. Magic happens there.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
temptation
i'm tempted. really tempted. before today, i thought that i had it all settled. made up my mind to spend eight glorious days taking in the beuaty of leipzig, frankfurt and london...more importantly, it means eight days with him.
but today, my heart fought a fierce battle against my head...and lost. $700 is no small sum.
will it be money well spent? my heart screams yes, but then i am quickly pulled back to earth. i chide myself for being so spoilt, and for selfishly planning this trip even though it means sacrificing so much time, schoolwork, and money. afterall, there's winter, and spring break, and next summer. goodbye was not forever.
yet i really do want to see him soon. he's not flying back in winter. so i don't know when we'll next meet. spare me the suspense. i miss you.
thinkthinkthinkdecidedecidequick.
donations are welcome.
i'm tempted. really tempted. before today, i thought that i had it all settled. made up my mind to spend eight glorious days taking in the beuaty of leipzig, frankfurt and london...more importantly, it means eight days with him.
but today, my heart fought a fierce battle against my head...and lost. $700 is no small sum.
will it be money well spent? my heart screams yes, but then i am quickly pulled back to earth. i chide myself for being so spoilt, and for selfishly planning this trip even though it means sacrificing so much time, schoolwork, and money. afterall, there's winter, and spring break, and next summer. goodbye was not forever.
yet i really do want to see him soon. he's not flying back in winter. so i don't know when we'll next meet. spare me the suspense. i miss you.
thinkthinkthinkdecidedecidequick.
donations are welcome.
Sunday, September 22, 2002
By the light of the silvery moon
mood:
happy!
By the light (by the light)
of the silvery moon
(not the sun but the moon)
I want to spoon
(not a fork but a spoon)
To my honey I'll croon love's tune
Honey moon (honey moon)
Keep on shining in June
(not in May but in June)
Your silvery beams will bring love's dreams
We'll be cuddling soon
By the silvery moon
Happy Mooncake Festival!! I usually don't particularly like mooncake, but today's were really yummy. Couldn't stop myself from pinching more..but hey, each mooncake was cut into 12 pieces...so i didn't each that much right??? Right. It was a pity that the fog rolled in, bringing with it colder weather as compared to the previous few nights. The moon was out, but had none of its usual brilliance due to the low clouds. what a pity....but nevertheless, i had a great time today. Not so much so at the celebrations itself...although it's always nice to meet up with people. I don't care much for socializing...i mainly remained at one spot and talked to people who approached. Not too effective huh? i was genuinely glad to talk to pple and take photos etc...but not on enough to do the initiatiation. but i was happy with my pretty orange lantern, and Samantha, a cute little 2yr old who graciously allowed me a photo with her in exchange for the abovementioned lantern. =)
But what really took the cake (no pun intended) was hanging out all day with hk and kok. I joined them for the Cal-Air Force football game (which we should have won!!!) earlier this afternoon...and then for the next 2 hours amused ourselves on the still sunny memorial glade with a frisbee and football. In between making quite a fool of ourselves with lousy throws and bad aim, we had a great deal of fun! there's something about running bare feet on the cool grass while playing catch that enthralls me, and never fails to lift my spirits. it makes me feel so carefree and happy...just like after a good workout. but what fascinates me even more is how even in the absence of conversation, people can still feel so comfortable with each other...as though there is a certain unspoken language that unites them. what can i say? yay! Moreover, it kept me pretty warm...and i hardly noticed the cold until the festivities started. Popped by durant food court for dinner, and then to Henry's for a drink (2 beers for the guys and none for me, thank you). it was nice talking about friends, and sharing funny anecdotes, and just hanging out. to top the day off, we played four rounds of 'high, middle, low' (a pool game which i had never heard of before) in unit 1...even the tipless cues couldn't dampen our spirits..although it caused quite alot of PJ shots. =)
well, i don't know if they enjoyed the day as much as i did, but i sure hope so. it felt comfortable being there with them, perhaps coz we had alot in common. Hk and i have been friends since sec 2, and kok was once my classmate...and we have mutual friends to bitch about. =) plus i feel like from primary school to jc we have experienced a very similar rafflesian gep culture (which may seem antisocial and elitist to some), and totally understand each other with great ease.
It's been a while since i've felt this way. now that yoek has left for france, i feel like i've lost a close friend, and someone that i can share stuff with. I feel lonely here sometimes, knowing that if anything bad really crops up, i have no female friends really to turn to. I sometimes envy those with close female friends. i find it hard to make good girl friends, usually because i don't try enough, or i'm too bochup and insensitive to really fit in with girls. perhaps that's why i tend to get along better with guys...i am less afraid to speak my mind and offend them, and well...i feel like there's less dependence on each other, which i like. I can flit in and out of conversations, i can call when i feel like it, i can call them names, i can choose to do my own stuff, all without any bad feelings. I can talk about sports, and other stupid things..without worrying that the other person may be completely bored, and just listening for the sake of it. I like the fact that guys tell u exactly how they feel, whether it is to tell u they don't want to talk to you, or they think you're a complete ass. sometimes i don't know how to act around girls...and i think that if i am just myself, i won't really fit in. *sigh* but i still do miss having my girl friends around to be crazy with...so all of u who are reading this..the xiaocharbor gang, the banana family, kaiy, yoek, jq...thanks for putting up with the rather hard-to-live-with person that i am. love u all...
*big hug*
-----------------------
Manymany birthday wishes to my dearest mei, dez. hope u had a great 21st....it was nice talking to you, and hearing the happiness in your voice. good luck in dentistry...study hard and may you find a chio bu soon. hehz. =P take care!
mood:
happy!
By the light (by the light)
of the silvery moon
(not the sun but the moon)
I want to spoon
(not a fork but a spoon)
To my honey I'll croon love's tune
Honey moon (honey moon)
Keep on shining in June
(not in May but in June)
Your silvery beams will bring love's dreams
We'll be cuddling soon
By the silvery moon
Happy Mooncake Festival!! I usually don't particularly like mooncake, but today's were really yummy. Couldn't stop myself from pinching more..but hey, each mooncake was cut into 12 pieces...so i didn't each that much right??? Right. It was a pity that the fog rolled in, bringing with it colder weather as compared to the previous few nights. The moon was out, but had none of its usual brilliance due to the low clouds. what a pity....but nevertheless, i had a great time today. Not so much so at the celebrations itself...although it's always nice to meet up with people. I don't care much for socializing...i mainly remained at one spot and talked to people who approached. Not too effective huh? i was genuinely glad to talk to pple and take photos etc...but not on enough to do the initiatiation. but i was happy with my pretty orange lantern, and Samantha, a cute little 2yr old who graciously allowed me a photo with her in exchange for the abovementioned lantern. =)
But what really took the cake (no pun intended) was hanging out all day with hk and kok. I joined them for the Cal-Air Force football game (which we should have won!!!) earlier this afternoon...and then for the next 2 hours amused ourselves on the still sunny memorial glade with a frisbee and football. In between making quite a fool of ourselves with lousy throws and bad aim, we had a great deal of fun! there's something about running bare feet on the cool grass while playing catch that enthralls me, and never fails to lift my spirits. it makes me feel so carefree and happy...just like after a good workout. but what fascinates me even more is how even in the absence of conversation, people can still feel so comfortable with each other...as though there is a certain unspoken language that unites them. what can i say? yay! Moreover, it kept me pretty warm...and i hardly noticed the cold until the festivities started. Popped by durant food court for dinner, and then to Henry's for a drink (2 beers for the guys and none for me, thank you). it was nice talking about friends, and sharing funny anecdotes, and just hanging out. to top the day off, we played four rounds of 'high, middle, low' (a pool game which i had never heard of before) in unit 1...even the tipless cues couldn't dampen our spirits..although it caused quite alot of PJ shots. =)
well, i don't know if they enjoyed the day as much as i did, but i sure hope so. it felt comfortable being there with them, perhaps coz we had alot in common. Hk and i have been friends since sec 2, and kok was once my classmate...and we have mutual friends to bitch about. =) plus i feel like from primary school to jc we have experienced a very similar rafflesian gep culture (which may seem antisocial and elitist to some), and totally understand each other with great ease.
It's been a while since i've felt this way. now that yoek has left for france, i feel like i've lost a close friend, and someone that i can share stuff with. I feel lonely here sometimes, knowing that if anything bad really crops up, i have no female friends really to turn to. I sometimes envy those with close female friends. i find it hard to make good girl friends, usually because i don't try enough, or i'm too bochup and insensitive to really fit in with girls. perhaps that's why i tend to get along better with guys...i am less afraid to speak my mind and offend them, and well...i feel like there's less dependence on each other, which i like. I can flit in and out of conversations, i can call when i feel like it, i can call them names, i can choose to do my own stuff, all without any bad feelings. I can talk about sports, and other stupid things..without worrying that the other person may be completely bored, and just listening for the sake of it. I like the fact that guys tell u exactly how they feel, whether it is to tell u they don't want to talk to you, or they think you're a complete ass. sometimes i don't know how to act around girls...and i think that if i am just myself, i won't really fit in. *sigh* but i still do miss having my girl friends around to be crazy with...so all of u who are reading this..the xiaocharbor gang, the banana family, kaiy, yoek, jq...thanks for putting up with the rather hard-to-live-with person that i am. love u all...
*big hug*
-----------------------
Manymany birthday wishes to my dearest mei, dez. hope u had a great 21st....it was nice talking to you, and hearing the happiness in your voice. good luck in dentistry...study hard and may you find a chio bu soon. hehz. =P take care!
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
bowled over
mood:
overwhelmed
The sunset was so beautiful today. I used to think that endless blue cloudless skies were gorgeous, but today, i changed my mind. driving along the freeway...dusty crimson streaks against a pale blue sky...it was quite a sight to behold. In fact, the weather today was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of warm sunshine on my skin, and wished i had time for a relaxing dip at strawberry canyon. I hope the weather holds. Weather.com seems to think so, but in Berkeley, you can never be too sure. Yep, i try not to take each day for granted...and never fail to be pleasantly surprised each time we're greeted by sunny blue skies. yep, i'm easily happy..=P
went down to Berkeley Bowl after class just now...and spent over an hour strolling down each and every aisle. Exploring a supermarket is such a wonderful experience, especially when the aisles are stocked chock-full of goodies like exotic eggplant spreads or every kind of cheese imaginable. the fruit and vegetable sections are a vegetarian's heaven. red tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, large ones, tiny ones, tinier ones, huge ones, everything...5 kinds of asparagus, and at least 10 kinds of peaches and nectarines. hell, u can even find rambutans there. and the meat all comes wrapped in brown paper, and you just can't help feel happy seeing the pretty paper packages stack up neatly in your cart.
hmm, we used to stop at every supermarket we came across. Between drooling over expensive chocolate and sneaking food samples, we would just stumble through the aisles, hand in hand, having lots of fun. Yar, so romantic to pak tor in a supermarket hor? anywez, i'm eating alot more vegetables now...eggplant and garden burgers (they're really tasty!!) especially. sometimes i find myself now eating any meat for days on end. Yet it's not like i'm deliberately trying to cut down on meat, but rather i just enjoy eating vegetables, and experiencing the many different tastes i can get out of them. many thanks to yoek for buying all the spreads and pesto and introducing me to the world of tasty vegetables. I've been trying to make my own sandwiches ala Hummingbird Cafe, but unfortunately i'm no where close. =P got some more food today coz i'm hoping to cook more interesting dishes. promised a big greedy pig to cook for him more, so i'd better brush up my skills soon!
Alright, but that will be another story another day. Now i need to go back to lab to start an experiment. Blimey. spent 2 hours talking to kaka about random stuff...from the four heavenly kings to 'xiao tian tian' comics to sex education. ahh..the joys of having a nice housemate. okay, i'd better go NOW. hmm..it's quite scary to be all alone in lab till midnight isn't it? shucks, i'd better stop scaring myself. wish me luck! ={
mood:
overwhelmed
The sunset was so beautiful today. I used to think that endless blue cloudless skies were gorgeous, but today, i changed my mind. driving along the freeway...dusty crimson streaks against a pale blue sky...it was quite a sight to behold. In fact, the weather today was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of warm sunshine on my skin, and wished i had time for a relaxing dip at strawberry canyon. I hope the weather holds. Weather.com seems to think so, but in Berkeley, you can never be too sure. Yep, i try not to take each day for granted...and never fail to be pleasantly surprised each time we're greeted by sunny blue skies. yep, i'm easily happy..=P
went down to Berkeley Bowl after class just now...and spent over an hour strolling down each and every aisle. Exploring a supermarket is such a wonderful experience, especially when the aisles are stocked chock-full of goodies like exotic eggplant spreads or every kind of cheese imaginable. the fruit and vegetable sections are a vegetarian's heaven. red tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, large ones, tiny ones, tinier ones, huge ones, everything...5 kinds of asparagus, and at least 10 kinds of peaches and nectarines. hell, u can even find rambutans there. and the meat all comes wrapped in brown paper, and you just can't help feel happy seeing the pretty paper packages stack up neatly in your cart.
hmm, we used to stop at every supermarket we came across. Between drooling over expensive chocolate and sneaking food samples, we would just stumble through the aisles, hand in hand, having lots of fun. Yar, so romantic to pak tor in a supermarket hor? anywez, i'm eating alot more vegetables now...eggplant and garden burgers (they're really tasty!!) especially. sometimes i find myself now eating any meat for days on end. Yet it's not like i'm deliberately trying to cut down on meat, but rather i just enjoy eating vegetables, and experiencing the many different tastes i can get out of them. many thanks to yoek for buying all the spreads and pesto and introducing me to the world of tasty vegetables. I've been trying to make my own sandwiches ala Hummingbird Cafe, but unfortunately i'm no where close. =P got some more food today coz i'm hoping to cook more interesting dishes. promised a big greedy pig to cook for him more, so i'd better brush up my skills soon!
Alright, but that will be another story another day. Now i need to go back to lab to start an experiment. Blimey. spent 2 hours talking to kaka about random stuff...from the four heavenly kings to 'xiao tian tian' comics to sex education. ahh..the joys of having a nice housemate. okay, i'd better go NOW. hmm..it's quite scary to be all alone in lab till midnight isn't it? shucks, i'd better stop scaring myself. wish me luck! ={
Monday, September 16, 2002
unfamiliar territory
mood:
lost in thought
was watching the liverpool-bolton game yesterday, and what a thriller it was. twice liverpool had the lead, and twice they lost it...it took a last gasp Heskey effort in the 88th minute to sew up the match. hearing 'you'll never walk alone' and chants of 'liverpool' reverberating around the stadium must be a great feeling for the players out there. And when the cameras panned in on the fans, the look of joy and pride in their faces was simply priceless. In a strange way, i felt like crying...and perhaps i did shed a tear or two. dumb huh? there's something about sport that gets me all emotional. Every perfect pass or clever lay-up never fails to amaze me. But what truly keeps me watching is (no, not michael owen) seeing the players give their all physically and mentally. True, not all games produce fireworks, but those that do, leave you staring at the tv for minutes after, replaying the game over and over in your head, and feeling...well, truly satisfied. okay, i'm an official dork. watching zai goals over and over again on my computer makes me happy. =)
then, when i saw my netball in the cupboard, i almost cried again. I remembered a day, not too long ago, when i was part of a great team, and when no netball was simply left on some shelf, untouched... remembering hurts...because it brings back so many memories that will forever be no more than memories. because it reminds me of someone that i was, and never again will be. yes, i do have some big regrets, but the world goes on...and i too will have to move on... Now watching sports, i applaud the winners and losers for their courage and effort...and chide myself for having let go of something that meant so much, not that long ago.
------------------------
lots of bits and pieces clogging up my mind
shall leave those for another day...
mood:
lost in thought
was watching the liverpool-bolton game yesterday, and what a thriller it was. twice liverpool had the lead, and twice they lost it...it took a last gasp Heskey effort in the 88th minute to sew up the match. hearing 'you'll never walk alone' and chants of 'liverpool' reverberating around the stadium must be a great feeling for the players out there. And when the cameras panned in on the fans, the look of joy and pride in their faces was simply priceless. In a strange way, i felt like crying...and perhaps i did shed a tear or two. dumb huh? there's something about sport that gets me all emotional. Every perfect pass or clever lay-up never fails to amaze me. But what truly keeps me watching is (no, not michael owen) seeing the players give their all physically and mentally. True, not all games produce fireworks, but those that do, leave you staring at the tv for minutes after, replaying the game over and over in your head, and feeling...well, truly satisfied. okay, i'm an official dork. watching zai goals over and over again on my computer makes me happy. =)
then, when i saw my netball in the cupboard, i almost cried again. I remembered a day, not too long ago, when i was part of a great team, and when no netball was simply left on some shelf, untouched... remembering hurts...because it brings back so many memories that will forever be no more than memories. because it reminds me of someone that i was, and never again will be. yes, i do have some big regrets, but the world goes on...and i too will have to move on... Now watching sports, i applaud the winners and losers for their courage and effort...and chide myself for having let go of something that meant so much, not that long ago.
------------------------
lots of bits and pieces clogging up my mind
shall leave those for another day...
Sunday, May 26, 2002
big apple
almost all packed. yet somehow i don't feel ready to leave. the backpack feels too big yet too small. i feel excited yet apprehensive. sometimes i think, 'hey, i could be in singapore right now'. and i feel empty, and lonely. but...i really do want to explore NY and Boston. And i really do want to spend some time with yoek before she leaves. i don't know why i'm feeling this way. yep, i guess i won't be updating for a few days. too busy having fun i hope. =) anywez, leaving in an hour or so. everyone have fun wherever u are, whatever you're doing. it's summer!! write me.
miss u so, so much. see u soon hor. *sighz*
almost all packed. yet somehow i don't feel ready to leave. the backpack feels too big yet too small. i feel excited yet apprehensive. sometimes i think, 'hey, i could be in singapore right now'. and i feel empty, and lonely. but...i really do want to explore NY and Boston. And i really do want to spend some time with yoek before she leaves. i don't know why i'm feeling this way. yep, i guess i won't be updating for a few days. too busy having fun i hope. =) anywez, leaving in an hour or so. everyone have fun wherever u are, whatever you're doing. it's summer!! write me.
miss u so, so much. see u soon hor. *sighz*
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
i hate computer games
not studying *wails*...i've been playing vampire boy for the last 15 minutes. and i'm already hooked! damn. been at level 6 for a while. Why is Mr. Fire be so angry and why does he want to burn me? why can't vampire boy be like spiderman and stick to walls instead. why are my fingers so retarded? whywhywhy? boohoo. more updates later.
--------
okay...finally reach level 10 (level 6 was too hard..boo). Better go stardee liaoz. now i'm really good at making a little blip on the screen jump on tiny little blocks, but i don't see how that will help in solving microelectronic circuits. *sighz* time for old-fashioned mugging. geez, i feel like a white lab mouse senselessly going through a maze over and over again.
------
liwen makes yummylicious bread pudding, and she just made a batch 2 days ago. i've been eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner...feel like eating some now, for supper. heehee. thanks, for keeping my tummy nice and stuffed. =)
not studying *wails*...i've been playing vampire boy for the last 15 minutes. and i'm already hooked! damn. been at level 6 for a while. Why is Mr. Fire be so angry and why does he want to burn me? why can't vampire boy be like spiderman and stick to walls instead. why are my fingers so retarded? whywhywhy? boohoo. more updates later.
--------
okay...finally reach level 10 (level 6 was too hard..boo). Better go stardee liaoz. now i'm really good at making a little blip on the screen jump on tiny little blocks, but i don't see how that will help in solving microelectronic circuits. *sighz* time for old-fashioned mugging. geez, i feel like a white lab mouse senselessly going through a maze over and over again.
------
liwen makes yummylicious bread pudding, and she just made a batch 2 days ago. i've been eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner...feel like eating some now, for supper. heehee. thanks, for keeping my tummy nice and stuffed. =)
what to do leh?
it's pretty scary huh? i always seem to complain how we're sucked into a relentless cycle that just goes on and on and on. Before you know it, it's the end of yet another semester. why does time seem to slip by so quickly? perhaps we are caught up in the humdrum of everyday life.. or maybe it's just that we tend to forget. it's incredibly, and a little scary how much we forget, and how hazy and fragmented our past becomes. Barely do i remember all the details of secondary school. It was a wonderful and eventful time. and it totally changed and shaped the person that i am today. it's a little sad to think that i'm barely scratching the surface recalling what memories i still have of life back then. and sadder yet is the thought that this fragmented memory is the closest i will ever be to reliving it. True, not being able to experience it again does give it a special and revered place in my heart...but still i hope one day, maybe at the moment of death, to experience life all over again, to watch the long stored-away secrets and memories reveal themselves for the first and last time.
on a lighter note, make the most of the summer holidays, and don't think about so much crap lah. Here's some suggestions as to what to do in Singapore: Our Country, Our Home. haha.. brainwashing is rather effective.
it's pretty scary huh? i always seem to complain how we're sucked into a relentless cycle that just goes on and on and on. Before you know it, it's the end of yet another semester. why does time seem to slip by so quickly? perhaps we are caught up in the humdrum of everyday life.. or maybe it's just that we tend to forget. it's incredibly, and a little scary how much we forget, and how hazy and fragmented our past becomes. Barely do i remember all the details of secondary school. It was a wonderful and eventful time. and it totally changed and shaped the person that i am today. it's a little sad to think that i'm barely scratching the surface recalling what memories i still have of life back then. and sadder yet is the thought that this fragmented memory is the closest i will ever be to reliving it. True, not being able to experience it again does give it a special and revered place in my heart...but still i hope one day, maybe at the moment of death, to experience life all over again, to watch the long stored-away secrets and memories reveal themselves for the first and last time.
on a lighter note, make the most of the summer holidays, and don't think about so much crap lah. Here's some suggestions as to what to do in Singapore: Our Country, Our Home. haha.. brainwashing is rather effective.
Blair Witch Project 3: hailstorm
hey all you poor people melting in sweltering 35 degree s'pore heat, it hailed today!! yoekie describes it as "ice rain"...yeah, it was really cool. like obese snow really. our reaction was spectacular. we jumped out from our seats, rushed outside to our balcony and stood in the hail (hey, it's not stupid okay). Who would have thought that we would see such precipitation in late May? freaky weather, but yay! we were shouting and screaming like little kids, and rushing in and out of our house like er...busy bees (i know i have an extremely limited vocabulary). and in the midst of all that pandemonium, we managed to record first-hand footage of this momentous occasion. and while dashing out of the house the tape was still running without our knowledge, adding to the excitement when we watched it later. the shouts and screams, the aimless shots of err..nothing much, the jerky technique...totally BWP...haha. =) not sold in stores. now available for a lowlow price of only $19.99. so call 1800-123-4567 now, and we'll throw in FREE heavy breathing for absolutely nothing!
okay..i am feeling very excited now after retelling this story. *breathe slowly* gotta go back to mugging liaoz. glad we shared that moment together. hard to find someone with the same sense of amazement and excitement over such acts of nature. i don't think it would have been half as fun without you around. so i'm reallyreally happy that we're living in the same house, and thanks fer always being so enthusiastic. yippee!
hey all you poor people melting in sweltering 35 degree s'pore heat, it hailed today!! yoekie describes it as "ice rain"...yeah, it was really cool. like obese snow really. our reaction was spectacular. we jumped out from our seats, rushed outside to our balcony and stood in the hail (hey, it's not stupid okay). Who would have thought that we would see such precipitation in late May? freaky weather, but yay! we were shouting and screaming like little kids, and rushing in and out of our house like er...busy bees (i know i have an extremely limited vocabulary). and in the midst of all that pandemonium, we managed to record first-hand footage of this momentous occasion. and while dashing out of the house the tape was still running without our knowledge, adding to the excitement when we watched it later. the shouts and screams, the aimless shots of err..nothing much, the jerky technique...totally BWP...haha. =) not sold in stores. now available for a lowlow price of only $19.99. so call 1800-123-4567 now, and we'll throw in FREE heavy breathing for absolutely nothing!
okay..i am feeling very excited now after retelling this story. *breathe slowly* gotta go back to mugging liaoz. glad we shared that moment together. hard to find someone with the same sense of amazement and excitement over such acts of nature. i don't think it would have been half as fun without you around. so i'm reallyreally happy that we're living in the same house, and thanks fer always being so enthusiastic. yippee!
Thursday, May 16, 2002
woohoos/booboos
things to be
happy about:
1. last night's candlelit fruit-eating, wine-drinking, word-yelling, picture-taking, hug-giving/receiving, photoframe-exchanging, guitar-playing, catch-upping(okay..i know it's degenerating) gathering at our house. hope u left with smiles on your faces, and memories to last a lifetime. many thanks to YK for the highlight.
2. today's lab BBQ. *drool* got to shoot some hoops too. hope i showed R a thing or two. maybe he won't be so mean to others then.
3. got a library card @ Richmond Public Library. borrowed NY guidebooks, yay! =)
4. tv's working, internet's up and running. pleeeeease be good.
5. Crème-Filled Pirouette French Vanilla "Entertaining Cookies"... eat when bored. really yummy don't u think? (damn, i finished eating it liao)
6. spoke to him lor =)
7. random people visiting this blog. funny. weird. strange (see below)
8. going home soon...23 more days to go!
9. finally having a clean room and floor space. thanks to #1.
10. no exams till next wednesday. heehee...i should just shut up.
things to be
un-happy about:
1. today's SMSA mailing list discussion that has somewhat degenerated into a flaming session. Really, i did not expect such childishness. opinions on politics, govt, education, freedom? no prob. but nitpicking emails and unconstructive retorts? rather distasteful don't u think?
2. Amazing race 2. Chris and Alex winners. bah. i like Danny and Oswald. competition can be really ugly.
3. got a library card @ Richmond Public Library. saw weird pervert, boo! =(
4. horrible, yuckky hair. tootoo long.
not much else i guess. i'm a happy person. =) *prances around room*
--------------
google keywords that direct random people to my page:
1. welts from paintballs photos
weird. and sadistic. painful too. to be reminded of my big ugly 'battlescar'. *ouch* hmm...or maybe he just wants to compare. should show him mine. the mother of all paintballing welts.
2. hopped up paintball
okay, i just dun geddit!!! next one's even stranger.
3. mongolian spot bruise
err.......what's that? searched google and found out what a mongolian spot was. yesh, we learn something new everyday.
things to be
happy about:
1. last night's candlelit fruit-eating, wine-drinking, word-yelling, picture-taking, hug-giving/receiving, photoframe-exchanging, guitar-playing, catch-upping(okay..i know it's degenerating) gathering at our house. hope u left with smiles on your faces, and memories to last a lifetime. many thanks to YK for the highlight.
2. today's lab BBQ. *drool* got to shoot some hoops too. hope i showed R a thing or two. maybe he won't be so mean to others then.
3. got a library card @ Richmond Public Library. borrowed NY guidebooks, yay! =)
4. tv's working, internet's up and running. pleeeeease be good.
5. Crème-Filled Pirouette French Vanilla "Entertaining Cookies"... eat when bored. really yummy don't u think? (damn, i finished eating it liao)
6. spoke to him lor =)
7. random people visiting this blog. funny. weird. strange (see below)
8. going home soon...23 more days to go!
9. finally having a clean room and floor space. thanks to #1.
10. no exams till next wednesday. heehee...i should just shut up.
things to be
un-happy about:
1. today's SMSA mailing list discussion that has somewhat degenerated into a flaming session. Really, i did not expect such childishness. opinions on politics, govt, education, freedom? no prob. but nitpicking emails and unconstructive retorts? rather distasteful don't u think?
2. Amazing race 2. Chris and Alex winners. bah. i like Danny and Oswald. competition can be really ugly.
3. got a library card @ Richmond Public Library. saw weird pervert, boo! =(
4. horrible, yuckky hair. tootoo long.
not much else i guess. i'm a happy person. =) *prances around room*
--------------
google keywords that direct random people to my page:
1. welts from paintballs photos
weird. and sadistic. painful too. to be reminded of my big ugly 'battlescar'. *ouch* hmm...or maybe he just wants to compare. should show him mine. the mother of all paintballing welts.
2. hopped up paintball
okay, i just dun geddit!!! next one's even stranger.
3. mongolian spot bruise
err.......what's that? searched google and found out what a mongolian spot was. yesh, we learn something new everyday.
Monday, May 13, 2002
Unhappy Farter's Day
Did you think i was pissed on saturday? to tell u the truth, i was. don't think that i was angry with u, and unhappy at the long roundabout we had to make. i was irritated instead, at the mysterious farter. *eerie music* Can u imagine how uncomfortable it was to have pungent fumes wafting by your nose in such a small enclosed space? to put it bluntly, it was damn smelly okay. And i don't know who it was. and what made me irritated was that the mysterious farter did not even have the common courtesy to open the freaking window and relieve us of some misery. No, i do not expect you (this is addressed to the farter, not u) to hold your farts until you explode, but yes, i would appreciate it if you'd allow some air in before we faint. thank you. I know how embarassing it can be to own up to it, and proudly proclaim "I FARTED" (even the word 'fart' sounds like it should be hidden away never to see the light of day), but c'mon, surely opening a window doesn't do any harm. It's not like the rest of us will hate you, i mean, we all have experienced the uncomfort of having to pass wind some time or another in the most unsuitable circumstances. man, thank god my window was down. hehe..sorry to show everyone the evil side of xiao, but buay tahan lah. OK, so remember, next time u sit in xiao's black honda accord, pleasepleaseplease:
1. Roll down window
2. Make conversation about it being hot
3. Fart (discreetly if you must)
4. Hold your breath
5. Roll down window even more
6. Apologize if you see everyone is choking and/or tearing (it's only polite)
7. Jump out of car
i would really appreciate it.
Did you think i was pissed on saturday? to tell u the truth, i was. don't think that i was angry with u, and unhappy at the long roundabout we had to make. i was irritated instead, at the mysterious farter. *eerie music* Can u imagine how uncomfortable it was to have pungent fumes wafting by your nose in such a small enclosed space? to put it bluntly, it was damn smelly okay. And i don't know who it was. and what made me irritated was that the mysterious farter did not even have the common courtesy to open the freaking window and relieve us of some misery. No, i do not expect you (this is addressed to the farter, not u) to hold your farts until you explode, but yes, i would appreciate it if you'd allow some air in before we faint. thank you. I know how embarassing it can be to own up to it, and proudly proclaim "I FARTED" (even the word 'fart' sounds like it should be hidden away never to see the light of day), but c'mon, surely opening a window doesn't do any harm. It's not like the rest of us will hate you, i mean, we all have experienced the uncomfort of having to pass wind some time or another in the most unsuitable circumstances. man, thank god my window was down. hehe..sorry to show everyone the evil side of xiao, but buay tahan lah. OK, so remember, next time u sit in xiao's black honda accord, pleasepleaseplease:
1. Roll down window
2. Make conversation about it being hot
3. Fart (discreetly if you must)
4. Hold your breath
5. Roll down window even more
6. Apologize if you see everyone is choking and/or tearing (it's only polite)
7. Jump out of car
i would really appreciate it.
ckw
psst, happy birthday. sheng ri kuai le =) Cannot be so suaku already hor. hope u have a good europe trip with vin. Looking forward to the next one in June. take care, and have a great break before entering the crazy med fac at NUS. really glad that we're still pals after these yrs....make sure "our friendship never ends" ya?
----------
hmm..suddenly been writing so much. to think that some stuff on saturday got me thinking....and things just started spewing(eeks) out from then. and it's funny, coz what i originally wanted to write about on saturday, has somehow decided to retreat into the murky depths of i-dunno-where. =) life, so much to think about, yet so hard to retell. i'll get to it soon, maybe. or maybe not.
psst, happy birthday. sheng ri kuai le =) Cannot be so suaku already hor. hope u have a good europe trip with vin. Looking forward to the next one in June. take care, and have a great break before entering the crazy med fac at NUS. really glad that we're still pals after these yrs....make sure "our friendship never ends" ya?
----------
hmm..suddenly been writing so much. to think that some stuff on saturday got me thinking....and things just started spewing(eeks) out from then. and it's funny, coz what i originally wanted to write about on saturday, has somehow decided to retreat into the murky depths of i-dunno-where. =) life, so much to think about, yet so hard to retell. i'll get to it soon, maybe. or maybe not.
conversations by twilight
just wanted to let u know that i really do believe in you. I believe that u know what you're doing without compromising your dreams...and i admire you for that. Whatever you choose to do, i'm sure there's a reason for it, and whatever the outcome, i'm sure u'll gain something from it. sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose...but at least u can't say u didn't try. i'll be here for you, even when we're miles apart. And i'll think of you, with each brilliant sunset, and every yellow wildflower. =)
just wanted to let u know that i really do believe in you. I believe that u know what you're doing without compromising your dreams...and i admire you for that. Whatever you choose to do, i'm sure there's a reason for it, and whatever the outcome, i'm sure u'll gain something from it. sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose...but at least u can't say u didn't try. i'll be here for you, even when we're miles apart. And i'll think of you, with each brilliant sunset, and every yellow wildflower. =)
Sunday, May 12, 2002
wishes
Happy 21st Birthday dear.
i'm glad u were surrounded by friends and family and lots and lots of love yesterday. but still, i wish i could have been there, to spend the day with you side by side, hand in hand...
I wish upon u everlasting happiness,
and us, happiness everlasting
---------------
and to my dearest mommy,
Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks for being such a fantabulous mum that i'm always so proud of telling my friends about. Hope you had a great lunch in Pulai Springs, but next time, i'll be the one bringing u out to lunch okay? =) I love you mum, and thank you.
Kick back and relax on YOUR day, and let daddy do all the housework!
Happy 21st Birthday dear.
i'm glad u were surrounded by friends and family and lots and lots of love yesterday. but still, i wish i could have been there, to spend the day with you side by side, hand in hand...
I wish upon u everlasting happiness,
and us, happiness everlasting
---------------
and to my dearest mommy,
Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks for being such a fantabulous mum that i'm always so proud of telling my friends about. Hope you had a great lunch in Pulai Springs, but next time, i'll be the one bringing u out to lunch okay? =) I love you mum, and thank you.
Kick back and relax on YOUR day, and let daddy do all the housework!
life's fireworks (part 2)
mood:
dazzled
Guess what? I did go to catch the fireworks. *big grin* Yep, and i have the video to prove it. =P Decided to store away my thoughts for a minute and hopped into the car for a quick drive up Moeser Lane. glad i wasn't pulled over by the 2 police cars i passed on the way. Think i was driving pretty fast...worried that i wouldn't make it in time. There were 3 other cars there, all watching the same breathtaking display. True, it wasn't as nice as i imagined it would be. after all, i was on the wrong side of the bay (not to mention by the time i got there it was almost over). but surely a dazzling display of fireworks is still welcome anyday? it was quite hard trying to film it AND enjoy it. somehow, the real thing, no matter how much further away it is than the zoomzoomzoomed product, wins hands down. somehow seeing it on a small screen or photograph doesn't quite cut it. That's the beauty of life i suppose, actually living, feeling and experiencing such that the pain of every heartbreak, the joys of shared laughter, or the sweetness of private moments are etched forever in our hearts. i was really glad i chased the fireworks...felt like i actually did something important for myself today. even though it wasn't really a big deal at all, i'm glad i overcame inertia, and did something that i really wanted to do. perhaps, i hope, that this will apply to my life as well. =)
i wish u were here with me though...
mood:
dazzled
Guess what? I did go to catch the fireworks. *big grin* Yep, and i have the video to prove it. =P Decided to store away my thoughts for a minute and hopped into the car for a quick drive up Moeser Lane. glad i wasn't pulled over by the 2 police cars i passed on the way. Think i was driving pretty fast...worried that i wouldn't make it in time. There were 3 other cars there, all watching the same breathtaking display. True, it wasn't as nice as i imagined it would be. after all, i was on the wrong side of the bay (not to mention by the time i got there it was almost over). but surely a dazzling display of fireworks is still welcome anyday? it was quite hard trying to film it AND enjoy it. somehow, the real thing, no matter how much further away it is than the zoomzoomzoomed product, wins hands down. somehow seeing it on a small screen or photograph doesn't quite cut it. That's the beauty of life i suppose, actually living, feeling and experiencing such that the pain of every heartbreak, the joys of shared laughter, or the sweetness of private moments are etched forever in our hearts. i was really glad i chased the fireworks...felt like i actually did something important for myself today. even though it wasn't really a big deal at all, i'm glad i overcame inertia, and did something that i really wanted to do. perhaps, i hope, that this will apply to my life as well. =)
i wish u were here with me though...
life's fireworks (part 1)
a jumbled mess of thoughts floating around in my mind right now. some are sweet, some bitter...but nevertheless, new thoughts and experiences are always welcome to be recorded on life's paper. *sigh* internet's down again. won't be able to post this till later. oh well, what's new? getting used to it. Now we're surprised if the internet is working. =) can hear the muffled boom of fireworks in the distance. I wonder if i didn't know there was a carnival in SF whether i would have noticed the noise. probably not. Makes me realise that there's so little that one knows. We are forever in our own little world, wrapped up in a comfortable existance....and this is what we call our 'life'. Yet at any one time, there is so much more going on out there that we don't see, and don't know. Yoek going vegan has greatly opened my eyes not so much to the problem of non-sustainable farming, or cruelty to animals, but rather the fact that most people (including me) live without actually thinking of such issues. okay, i'm sure some think about it, but most don't give it much thought. why don't we care about how food gets to us, or how our clothes are made, or what is fed to the various plants and animals? why is it so far removed from us that it is yet another headline, or just another environmentalist preaching? these are certain questions that may not have a definite answer, but still should be thought about, simply to remind us that there is more to life than what we experience.
a jumbled mess of thoughts floating around in my mind right now. some are sweet, some bitter...but nevertheless, new thoughts and experiences are always welcome to be recorded on life's paper. *sigh* internet's down again. won't be able to post this till later. oh well, what's new? getting used to it. Now we're surprised if the internet is working. =) can hear the muffled boom of fireworks in the distance. I wonder if i didn't know there was a carnival in SF whether i would have noticed the noise. probably not. Makes me realise that there's so little that one knows. We are forever in our own little world, wrapped up in a comfortable existance....and this is what we call our 'life'. Yet at any one time, there is so much more going on out there that we don't see, and don't know. Yoek going vegan has greatly opened my eyes not so much to the problem of non-sustainable farming, or cruelty to animals, but rather the fact that most people (including me) live without actually thinking of such issues. okay, i'm sure some think about it, but most don't give it much thought. why don't we care about how food gets to us, or how our clothes are made, or what is fed to the various plants and animals? why is it so far removed from us that it is yet another headline, or just another environmentalist preaching? these are certain questions that may not have a definite answer, but still should be thought about, simply to remind us that there is more to life than what we experience.
Thursday, May 09, 2002
mental block
why is it when you are looking for something you can never find it? yet it comes so easily when you don't have to?
maybe i'm just dumb...can't think of very many words that start with K. for some strange reason 'kangaroo' keeps(AHA! another one)koming coming into my mind. Help! I need to go back to kindergarten(AHA!).
**useless fact: kindergarten means 'children garden' in german. there, german's pretty useful after all huh? =P
why is it when you are looking for something you can never find it? yet it comes so easily when you don't have to?
maybe i'm just dumb...can't think of very many words that start with K. for some strange reason 'kangaroo' keeps(AHA! another one)
**useless fact: kindergarten means 'children garden' in german. there, german's pretty useful after all huh? =P
Friday, May 03, 2002
apologies
mood:
reflective
this is dedicated to all the wonderful people who help fill up the blank piece of paper that is life with vivid colours and beautiful images...
sorry about me being me. sorry for all the times i've made u feel like u don't matter. sorry for the coldness in my voice, the harshness in my tone, the nonchalance in my words. i don't mean to sound to be unfriendly, to be hostile, or to be mean. i know sometimes i put up this wall around me. sometimes i'm peeved about something deep down inside...but just not willing to let it out. sometimes i just feel so tired, and not feel like making conversation. i know i shouldn't let my mood get in the way of friendships, but sometimes i just can't be bothered to act happy and friendly all the time. i know how shitty it must feel to have someone blow hot and cold. to have someone in the same house who's refusing to open up. to be with someone cold and defensive despite sitting on the same couch. but remember, this shouldn't make you any less of a friend than u are, for i am just being selfish, grumpy and temperamental. just ignore me, and know how glad i am to have a friend like you.
mood:
reflective
this is dedicated to all the wonderful people who help fill up the blank piece of paper that is life with vivid colours and beautiful images...
sorry about me being me. sorry for all the times i've made u feel like u don't matter. sorry for the coldness in my voice, the harshness in my tone, the nonchalance in my words. i don't mean to sound to be unfriendly, to be hostile, or to be mean. i know sometimes i put up this wall around me. sometimes i'm peeved about something deep down inside...but just not willing to let it out. sometimes i just feel so tired, and not feel like making conversation. i know i shouldn't let my mood get in the way of friendships, but sometimes i just can't be bothered to act happy and friendly all the time. i know how shitty it must feel to have someone blow hot and cold. to have someone in the same house who's refusing to open up. to be with someone cold and defensive despite sitting on the same couch. but remember, this shouldn't make you any less of a friend than u are, for i am just being selfish, grumpy and temperamental. just ignore me, and know how glad i am to have a friend like you.
shivers
brr...cold. The sun is rising..but it looks grey, cold and chilly out. =( why am i online at 6am? Er..first, i was woken up at 5am by an unknown caller. didn't get to the phone in time due to my groggy and disoriented state. but hey, it was in silent mode mah, i hear the phone vibrations pretty good liaoz. second, i went to sleep at 730 pm thinking it was "just a nap"....oh well. that's a confirmation of my pigginess. *sighz* had 5 missed calls in the process. wonder who would have called but left no number...scary huh? and i seem to have received a call from "home" at 430am. but why would any of my housemates call and chat at such an unearthly hour?
brr...cold. The sun is rising..but it looks grey, cold and chilly out. =( why am i online at 6am? Er..first, i was woken up at 5am by an unknown caller. didn't get to the phone in time due to my groggy and disoriented state. but hey, it was in silent mode mah, i hear the phone vibrations pretty good liaoz. second, i went to sleep at 730 pm thinking it was "just a nap"....oh well. that's a confirmation of my pigginess. *sighz* had 5 missed calls in the process. wonder who would have called but left no number...scary huh? and i seem to have received a call from "home" at 430am. but why would any of my housemates call and chat at such an unearthly hour?
Thursday, May 02, 2002
a big hug to u
punch those worries away
ignore the previous post. that was written with my brain in sleep mode..didn't really know what i was talking about after a while. sitting in the school library now. very tired again. Don't know why sleep doesn't seem to have a beneficial effect on me. Maybe i sleep too much. mebbe my biological clock is screwing up. mebbe it's telling me to get married. nah. whatever. Hopefully eating chocolate will clear it up.
i have a class pretty soon. just wanted to leave a little note to a dear friend who's feeling a little down. don't think too much about certain things....sometimes we just have to face some evil, unjust and un-nice things. but this is the price of living. instead of worrying about what it costs, make the most of it what ever chance u have.
"You can't have the light without a shadow"
but i think, look towards the light and you'll never see the shadows, right? no matter what, we can't afford to let little things get us down. You have so much to be thankful for. jc, abc, med, ar, and that gives u so much to think about, and feel happy about. of course no one can be totally happy all the time...so, i certainly don't expect you to be grinning from ear to ear after reading this. I just want u to know that i'm here for you, and that you're a really special person. so cheer up, ya? i'll see you in a bit, and we can bitch about the guys or something...=P *hugz*
alrighty..gotta run, 15 minutes late. take care v.
punch those worries away
ignore the previous post. that was written with my brain in sleep mode..didn't really know what i was talking about after a while. sitting in the school library now. very tired again. Don't know why sleep doesn't seem to have a beneficial effect on me. Maybe i sleep too much. mebbe my biological clock is screwing up. mebbe it's telling me to get married. nah. whatever. Hopefully eating chocolate will clear it up.
i have a class pretty soon. just wanted to leave a little note to a dear friend who's feeling a little down. don't think too much about certain things....sometimes we just have to face some evil, unjust and un-nice things. but this is the price of living. instead of worrying about what it costs, make the most of it what ever chance u have.
"You can't have the light without a shadow"
but i think, look towards the light and you'll never see the shadows, right? no matter what, we can't afford to let little things get us down. You have so much to be thankful for. jc, abc, med, ar, and that gives u so much to think about, and feel happy about. of course no one can be totally happy all the time...so, i certainly don't expect you to be grinning from ear to ear after reading this. I just want u to know that i'm here for you, and that you're a really special person. so cheer up, ya? i'll see you in a bit, and we can bitch about the guys or something...=P *hugz*
alrighty..gotta run, 15 minutes late. take care v.
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Langeweile
mood:
braindead
Watched My Brother the Vampire i.e.Mein Bruder der Vampir yesterday. SF Film fest movie. Like most film fest movies, a little quirky, weird and great cinematography(can't stop raving about that). Just didn't expect it to be so vulgar. There was sex, masturbation, kissing, breasts, incest and erm..*ahem*..strong language. hmm. Total assault on your senses. I didn't enjoy the plot as much as i had hoped to, but the music, lighting and style was absolutely ausgezeichnet. Kudos to Sven Taddicken. The screening included a short oscar-nominated feature, Gregors Größte Erfindung (Gregor's Greatest Invention). A sweet story about how Gregor's grandmother faces life in an old folks' home unless he can come up with an invention to compensate for her weakening legs. The actor who played Gregor was actually there at the PFA screening, and took time to answer a few questions. Oh, and so was the director of the Vampire show. 'Gregor' seemed really sweet while the director seemed rather quirky. hrm. kinda reflects on the shows. Feel like catching another show...see if i can get in a Jap movie.
Feeling very exhausted now... i have 3 final projects due, and have got to meet up with group partners to work on it. I know this means less emphasis on finals...but i just want everything to be over. i'm tired.
mood:
braindead
Watched My Brother the Vampire i.e.Mein Bruder der Vampir yesterday. SF Film fest movie. Like most film fest movies, a little quirky, weird and great cinematography(can't stop raving about that). Just didn't expect it to be so vulgar. There was sex, masturbation, kissing, breasts, incest and erm..*ahem*..strong language. hmm. Total assault on your senses. I didn't enjoy the plot as much as i had hoped to, but the music, lighting and style was absolutely ausgezeichnet. Kudos to Sven Taddicken. The screening included a short oscar-nominated feature, Gregors Größte Erfindung (Gregor's Greatest Invention). A sweet story about how Gregor's grandmother faces life in an old folks' home unless he can come up with an invention to compensate for her weakening legs. The actor who played Gregor was actually there at the PFA screening, and took time to answer a few questions. Oh, and so was the director of the Vampire show. 'Gregor' seemed really sweet while the director seemed rather quirky. hrm. kinda reflects on the shows. Feel like catching another show...see if i can get in a Jap movie.
Feeling very exhausted now... i have 3 final projects due, and have got to meet up with group partners to work on it. I know this means less emphasis on finals...but i just want everything to be over. i'm tired.
Sunday, April 28, 2002
computer gone bonkers
mood:
grrr...
Gosh. It seems that NOTHING is going right with the computer these days. Firstly, our DSL connection has been down for almost 24 hours. Scary to realise how dependent we are on the internet. *groan* Suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Need to check mail. need to check soccernet. need to check for icq messages. need to read blogs. need to update blogs (like real i do). Actually i'm so dependant on it for almost everything...from catching up with friends to downloading stuff to looking for telephone numbers. How did we actually survive without the world wide web?! =P badbad. shouldn't be so dependant. tomorrow u'll see me looking gaunt and pale with hand tremors and itchy fingers. grr. Oh, actually the internet does work, kinda. it's weird, scary, and seems to have a life of its own. Sometimes when we turn on the phone, the internet suddenly works. Great for emergencies. as long as the phone stays on though. And sometimes, there is a very slow connection. Messenger and audiogalaxy says that i'm connected, but i can't chat, can't surf the net, can't check mail. weird again. And the absolute worst thing is when u call Earthlink to ask them what's wrong...or just to find someone to pin the blame on and kao pei to, you get put on hold FOREVER. Yoek called them earlier today, and she said she had been on hold for.......40 minutes. Poor thing hor? =( Americans must spend at least 5% of their lives on hold!
And as if just to make things worse, my computer has a virus...and it's been sending out infected emails to the canoeists. *tears hair out* ARGH! Can't everything run perfectly for once? At least until the end of the semester...when Yoek and i run off to our exciting rendezvous on the east coast and then i can stick my tongue out at the computer and earthlink and "bblllhhhhhhhhhh"
mood:
grrr...
Gosh. It seems that NOTHING is going right with the computer these days. Firstly, our DSL connection has been down for almost 24 hours. Scary to realise how dependent we are on the internet. *groan* Suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Need to check mail. need to check soccernet. need to check for icq messages. need to read blogs. need to update blogs (like real i do). Actually i'm so dependant on it for almost everything...from catching up with friends to downloading stuff to looking for telephone numbers. How did we actually survive without the world wide web?! =P badbad. shouldn't be so dependant. tomorrow u'll see me looking gaunt and pale with hand tremors and itchy fingers. grr. Oh, actually the internet does work, kinda. it's weird, scary, and seems to have a life of its own. Sometimes when we turn on the phone, the internet suddenly works. Great for emergencies. as long as the phone stays on though. And sometimes, there is a very slow connection. Messenger and audiogalaxy says that i'm connected, but i can't chat, can't surf the net, can't check mail. weird again. And the absolute worst thing is when u call Earthlink to ask them what's wrong...or just to find someone to pin the blame on and kao pei to, you get put on hold FOREVER. Yoek called them earlier today, and she said she had been on hold for...
And as if just to make things worse, my computer has a virus...and it's been sending out infected emails to the canoeists. *tears hair out* ARGH! Can't everything run perfectly for once? At least until the end of the semester...when Yoek and i run off to our exciting rendezvous on the east coast and then i can stick my tongue out at the computer and earthlink and "bblllhhhhhhhhhh"
Saturday, April 27, 2002
Thursday, April 25, 2002
just a silly drama queen
you've made my day worse than it already was.
don't get all defensive now. i hate it when u do that.
why evade the real problem?
why take everything so personally?
i'm stressed. i'm tired. i'm hurting.
i hate that dull, consistent ache in the heart.
why does the pain refuse to subside?
why do hot tears burn into my face?
why do u have the power to make me feel so?
you've made my day worse than it already was.
don't get all defensive now. i hate it when u do that.
why evade the real problem?
why take everything so personally?
i'm stressed. i'm tired. i'm hurting.
i hate that dull, consistent ache in the heart.
why does the pain refuse to subside?
why do hot tears burn into my face?
why do u have the power to make me feel so?
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
pigging out
mood:
bisschen mude
so much has happened in the past week. don't know why i haven't blogged. It's just that i haven't felt the urge to put any of it down in words. Partly coz it takes me too long, and partly because i'm afraid that the words will fall short of describing what i'm actually experiencing. Highlights of the week? Food, food and more food! but of course what made it evenl better was the company. popped over to Faith's place on Friday night to bake (yesh, i can bake okay) yummy egg tarts. Yep, they're these scrumptious sweet dim-summy custurdy things. I had a great time there. It was a little tiring squishing dough into little paper cups, but nevertheless, it was well worth the effort. Not only did we have egg tarts to eat, we had smiles and laughter all around. =) faith summarizes it beautifully on her page and so i will not try to retell it. but it really did feel like a chalet in the end....the strange blankness that creeps into your head, the tendency to "heeheeheehee" and "hahahaha" at every little thing, the oh-my-gosh-the-sky-is-brightening-but-i'm-too-tired-to-be-excited feeling. yay! Thank you to all who made it happen...=)
mood:
bisschen mude
so much has happened in the past week. don't know why i haven't blogged. It's just that i haven't felt the urge to put any of it down in words. Partly coz it takes me too long, and partly because i'm afraid that the words will fall short of describing what i'm actually experiencing. Highlights of the week? Food, food and more food! but of course what made it evenl better was the company. popped over to Faith's place on Friday night to bake (yesh, i can bake okay) yummy egg tarts. Yep, they're these scrumptious sweet dim-summy custurdy things. I had a great time there. It was a little tiring squishing dough into little paper cups, but nevertheless, it was well worth the effort. Not only did we have egg tarts to eat, we had smiles and laughter all around. =) faith summarizes it beautifully on her page and so i will not try to retell it. but it really did feel like a chalet in the end....the strange blankness that creeps into your head, the tendency to "heeheeheehee" and "hahahaha" at every little thing, the oh-my-gosh-the-sky-is-brightening-but-i'm-too-tired-to-be-excited feeling. yay! Thank you to all who made it happen...=)
Monday, April 22, 2002
(de)fragments of life
mood:
grouchy
First and foremost, i have to vent my frustration. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! there, all better now. My dearest computer, which i decided to defragment yesterday, has decided to take the chance to go for a holiday....argh. I started at 330pm yesterday and at 1030am today, the screen cheerfully read "56% complete". In 19 hours (!!!!!), my computer happilly shuffled and rearranged only half the files on my computer. *sniff* but i'd have to admit it's most probably my fault. My fault for having so much crap on my computer, for not defragging it more often, for force feeding it hundreds upon thousands of files, folders and applications. Guess i'll just have to grin and bear it for another 15 hours or so. Hmm...defragging is strangely addictive. There's something alluring about seeing blue squares, aqua squares and red squares disappear and appear on the screen. Something hypnotic about the rythmn and the systemic movement down the rows of squares. And there's some satisfaction at the thought of your computer accomplishing perfect order and structure, like a utopian library, after this tedious process. Like how your computer is now the perfect zen machine, having purged itself of any mess and attained a higher order. okay...too much crap here.
[hits defrag button]
mood:
grouchy
First and foremost, i have to vent my frustration. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! there, all better now. My dearest computer, which i decided to defragment yesterday, has decided to take the chance to go for a holiday....argh. I started at 330pm yesterday and at 1030am today, the screen cheerfully read "56% complete". In 19 hours (!!!!!), my computer happilly shuffled and rearranged only half the files on my computer. *sniff* but i'd have to admit it's most probably my fault. My fault for having so much crap on my computer, for not defragging it more often, for force feeding it hundreds upon thousands of files, folders and applications. Guess i'll just have to grin and bear it for another 15 hours or so. Hmm...defragging is strangely addictive. There's something alluring about seeing blue squares, aqua squares and red squares disappear and appear on the screen. Something hypnotic about the rythmn and the systemic movement down the rows of squares. And there's some satisfaction at the thought of your computer accomplishing perfect order and structure, like a utopian library, after this tedious process. Like how your computer is now the perfect zen machine, having purged itself of any mess and attained a higher order. okay...too much crap here.
[hits defrag button]
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
*rumble*
mood:
hungry + tired=blah
just finished running my experiment at the flow cytometry lab in school. Not too good results. need more cells. need mroe experiments. need more practice. =( and tired from rushing to and fro from RFS lab to school. i wonder if research is something that i want to do as a career. I pretty much enjoy tending to cells, 'feeding' them, passaging them, staining them, etc,,,feel like a cell babysitter. plus i get to work with all these cool machines and chemicals the i read about in my readers and textbooks. A major drawback however, is the severe lack of outdoor labs. Wouldn't it be great to have sunshine pouring in while u work? oh well, who cares about sterility and contamination issues? =P seriously, going hours without fresh air and natural light is too much, and all i see after a while is white, white and more white...and my hands smell of rubber gloves. I shouldn't be complaining so much lah...my professor is a really nice guy, i get to eat pizza every Monday, i've made new friends. hmm...talking about pizza, i'm starving. gotta go munch and crunch. this blog most probably seems ultra-boring to u, oh well, go back and watch your toenails grow then. bleah.
mood:
hungry + tired=blah
just finished running my experiment at the flow cytometry lab in school. Not too good results. need more cells. need mroe experiments. need more practice. =( and tired from rushing to and fro from RFS lab to school. i wonder if research is something that i want to do as a career. I pretty much enjoy tending to cells, 'feeding' them, passaging them, staining them, etc,,,feel like a cell babysitter. plus i get to work with all these cool machines and chemicals the i read about in my readers and textbooks. A major drawback however, is the severe lack of outdoor labs. Wouldn't it be great to have sunshine pouring in while u work? oh well, who cares about sterility and contamination issues? =P seriously, going hours without fresh air and natural light is too much, and all i see after a while is white, white and more white...and my hands smell of rubber gloves. I shouldn't be complaining so much lah...my professor is a really nice guy, i get to eat pizza every Monday, i've made new friends. hmm...talking about pizza, i'm starving. gotta go munch and crunch. this blog most probably seems ultra-boring to u, oh well, go back and watch your toenails grow then. bleah.
of angelfishes and condensed milk
mood:
woohoo!
what am i doing awake at 630am? oh boy, today will be a long day....alot of things to do, and alot of things i'd rather be doing. woke up coz i fell asleep with contacts on (orrh... infection then u know). been doing that for a few days liao...i just feel so unmotivated to take off contacts. Can u imagine...if i'm unmotivated to care for my eyes, how motivated can i be to study hard? Oh well, i've been pretty bo chup (euphemism for lazy) for as long as i can remember. In primary school i was always doing ERP the night before...and it only got worse in rgs. As jq can attest, i hardly stayed home and studied. No wonder JC was not a mug-fest to me, hardly any studying done except promos and prelims. I had a blast in RJ, keeping up with old friends, making many new ones, meeting 5 firm-as-a-rock friends, and finding one special forever friend. yay. especially the last bit. =)
Mebbe that's why i'm awake so early....excited about the day ahead. How i wish i was elsewhere on this day, and spend it more meaningfully. Was sorry to bother pang n rui, hope it wasn't too awkward. hope i didn't take up too much of your time. Hope he was happy...and how i wish that i could have been there. it was nice talking to you again..and listening to your voices. paths have diverged, especially with secondary sch friends, yet it's so easy to fall back into the conversations we had more than 4 years ago. Perhaps that is the sign of a lasting friendship, where words come sincerely and freely. Good luck for your exams, study hard! A summer attachment at NUS is in the works, and that means....three whole months in S'pore! Plus, working at NUS would mean being able to meet up with old friends...that's something that makes me really, really excited. And hopefully the research will give me alot more flexibility wrt working hours.
About research, i'd better get going...need to go down soon to the research lab i'm working in, and prepare some samples for an experiment later. this means skipskipskip school. which hopefully doesn't translate to failfailfail classes. bleah. let's just hope all goes well, and i get a nobel prize... =P The worst thing that could happen is i fall asleep. which is quite possible considering the wooziness in my head and heaviness on my eyelids. *smack self* there, all better already....
i will write more later..possibly at the lab. how can i not, on such a day?
Glad i woke up early, managed to catch your email just after u sent it. I like knowing that both of us are online and thinking of each other at the same time. makes me feel alot closer to home, and you. It's always nice waking up to some silliness and mushiness. *grin* keep it coming! =P It's a special day...can't stop thinking abt u.
mood:
woohoo!
what am i doing awake at 630am? oh boy, today will be a long day....alot of things to do, and alot of things i'd rather be doing. woke up coz i fell asleep with contacts on (orrh... infection then u know). been doing that for a few days liao...i just feel so unmotivated to take off contacts. Can u imagine...if i'm unmotivated to care for my eyes, how motivated can i be to study hard? Oh well, i've been pretty bo chup (euphemism for lazy) for as long as i can remember. In primary school i was always doing ERP the night before...and it only got worse in rgs. As jq can attest, i hardly stayed home and studied. No wonder JC was not a mug-fest to me, hardly any studying done except promos and prelims. I had a blast in RJ, keeping up with old friends, making many new ones, meeting 5 firm-as-a-rock friends, and finding one special forever friend. yay. especially the last bit. =)
Mebbe that's why i'm awake so early....excited about the day ahead. How i wish i was elsewhere on this day, and spend it more meaningfully. Was sorry to bother pang n rui, hope it wasn't too awkward. hope i didn't take up too much of your time. Hope he was happy...and how i wish that i could have been there. it was nice talking to you again..and listening to your voices. paths have diverged, especially with secondary sch friends, yet it's so easy to fall back into the conversations we had more than 4 years ago. Perhaps that is the sign of a lasting friendship, where words come sincerely and freely. Good luck for your exams, study hard! A summer attachment at NUS is in the works, and that means....three whole months in S'pore! Plus, working at NUS would mean being able to meet up with old friends...that's something that makes me really, really excited. And hopefully the research will give me alot more flexibility wrt working hours.
About research, i'd better get going...need to go down soon to the research lab i'm working in, and prepare some samples for an experiment later. this means skipskipskip school. which hopefully doesn't translate to failfailfail classes. bleah. let's just hope all goes well, and i get a nobel prize... =P The worst thing that could happen is i fall asleep. which is quite possible considering the wooziness in my head and heaviness on my eyelids. *smack self* there, all better already....
i will write more later..possibly at the lab. how can i not, on such a day?
Glad i woke up early, managed to catch your email just after u sent it. I like knowing that both of us are online and thinking of each other at the same time. makes me feel alot closer to home, and you. It's always nice waking up to some silliness and mushiness. *grin* keep it coming! =P It's a special day...can't stop thinking abt u.
Thursday, April 11, 2002
random tidbits
what would u do with $50, $500 and $5000?
hrm...i dunno. just never really thought that i'd suddenly come across free money (ie. no need to return).
$50-put it in my wallet and see where it goes from there
$500-have a great meal with friends, buy a pair of jeans
$5000-travel in Europe/central america, buy him a guitar.
what about you?
------------------------------
smells you like
what they say:
~ cucumber oil. And gasoline. And the way my cat smells like an animal.
~ the desert just before rain, hot chocolate, fresh baked goods, peanut butter.
~ lemons....cow manure...baseball gloves, baseball dugout...
~ Tennis balls and isopropyl alcohol (?!)
~ my kitty's nose air. When he sniffs me I can smell the air coming out of his nose and its smells good, a little weird, but good.
~ really clean, warm summer night air. it's that ionized air smell. you smell it after lightning too.
~ freshly brewed coffee. freshly cut grass. the nape of a cute guy's neck.
~ clean laundry and manymany others..
what i say:
rain, clean laundry, fried garlic and onions, money, my mom's little pillow, my blanket, talcum powder, a baby's skin, oranges, fresh air
what would u do with $50, $500 and $5000?
hrm...i dunno. just never really thought that i'd suddenly come across free money (ie. no need to return).
$50-put it in my wallet and see where it goes from there
$500-have a great meal with friends, buy a pair of jeans
$5000-travel in Europe/central america, buy him a guitar.
what about you?
------------------------------
smells you like
what they say:
~ cucumber oil. And gasoline. And the way my cat smells like an animal.
~ the desert just before rain, hot chocolate, fresh baked goods, peanut butter.
~ lemons....cow manure...baseball gloves, baseball dugout...
~ Tennis balls and isopropyl alcohol (?!)
~ my kitty's nose air. When he sniffs me I can smell the air coming out of his nose and its smells good, a little weird, but good.
~ really clean, warm summer night air. it's that ionized air smell. you smell it after lightning too.
~ freshly brewed coffee. freshly cut grass. the nape of a cute guy's neck.
~ clean laundry and manymany others..
what i say:
rain, clean laundry, fried garlic and onions, money, my mom's little pillow, my blanket, talcum powder, a baby's skin, oranges, fresh air
me and my silly questions
mood:
relieved
i mugged and mugged so hard in the last 24 hours that i feel absolutely burnt out right now. *snapcracklepop* can't wait to go back home and rest. It was torturous ploughing through all that boring EE40 stuff. It's a evil class..now i know why Rob n ilyas warned not to take it. MOSFETS, CMOS, NMOS, op-amps, rectifiers, fabrication, pn junctions, logic blahblahblah....add cardiac protheses, artificial heart vessels, gene delivery and growth factor delivery...and add ~40 german words and learn how to change them to the perfect tense...and u know what's floating around in my brain right now. A whole lot of jumbled mishmash. And fried neurons. but i have no one to blame but myself...really, i should be doing more consistent work, rather than stressing myself out the day before exams, and force the poor him to listen to my incoherent grumblings.
Even though i told myself to focus wholly on work, i managed to sneak in trading spaces, 2 blind dates, 2 makeover stories, the amazing race AND gone in 60 seconds. talk about lack of discipline. I dunno leh. i think like some shows i'll just never get the chance to watch again, so i do. Especially these shove-a-camera-in-your-face kind of reality TV. Although i do think them stupid sometimes (like the Bachelor), i still can't help but watch. Probably i'm a closet voyeur...so beware of me and don't let me get too close...if you've got something to hide that is. =P I just think it's so interesting to watch people. Their reactions, their body language, their thoughts....i suppose reading blogs has a similar attractiveness to it. The online journal is like a camera that broadcasts to the world everything and anything- from the mundane happenings of life to the deep emotional frenzies one sometimes lapses into. but perhaps we are not as brave as we might think, choosing to hide in the shadow of anonymity, and only revealing emotions freely in our words.
Do u read random blogs? it's amazing how different each and every person is, and how reading through every blog one never fails to be pleasantly surprised. by a thought, a picture, a quote, an idea. If the world were powered by these, we'll never run out of resouces, not ever. Every person has something so unique about them, and i think it's wonderful that we have the opportunity to peek into the lives of all kinds of people. Not only do we learn all sorts of things, often we are reminded of our own thoughts and memories that we have overlooked, hidden away, or have simply forgotten.
One site asked: what did u want to be when u grew up? And i thought of the days when i wanted to be a teacher, days when i just wanted to stay with my grandparents forever, and days where i just wondered how it would feel being 21. Sometimes we just lose sight of our very own special dreams and in their place chase after the more practical and more acceptable ones. I suppose then we can safely say that we haven't failed, and haven't done anything silly with our lives. but then, this way we would never know the feeling of having done something truly meaningful, or having explored beyond our boundaries, would we? I must admit that i have not yet fulfilled some of these dreams within me, but i know that i want to, and that one day i will. I suppose many people think the same way...but eventually fall into the trappings of everyday life....i can't say i won't, but as long as i still keep these dreams close to me, i know half the battle is won. I don't know how my life will turn out from here, just as i didn't know my life now when i thought about it as a child. But i can still hope, and i sure hope i'll have some great stories to share.
mood:
relieved
i mugged and mugged so hard in the last 24 hours that i feel absolutely burnt out right now. *snapcracklepop* can't wait to go back home and rest. It was torturous ploughing through all that boring EE40 stuff. It's a evil class..now i know why Rob n ilyas warned not to take it. MOSFETS, CMOS, NMOS, op-amps, rectifiers, fabrication, pn junctions, logic blahblahblah....add cardiac protheses, artificial heart vessels, gene delivery and growth factor delivery...and add ~40 german words and learn how to change them to the perfect tense...and u know what's floating around in my brain right now. A whole lot of jumbled mishmash. And fried neurons. but i have no one to blame but myself...really, i should be doing more consistent work, rather than stressing myself out the day before exams, and force the poor him to listen to my incoherent grumblings.
Even though i told myself to focus wholly on work, i managed to sneak in trading spaces, 2 blind dates, 2 makeover stories, the amazing race AND gone in 60 seconds. talk about lack of discipline. I dunno leh. i think like some shows i'll just never get the chance to watch again, so i do. Especially these shove-a-camera-in-your-face kind of reality TV. Although i do think them stupid sometimes (like the Bachelor), i still can't help but watch. Probably i'm a closet voyeur...so beware of me and don't let me get too close...if you've got something to hide that is. =P I just think it's so interesting to watch people. Their reactions, their body language, their thoughts....i suppose reading blogs has a similar attractiveness to it. The online journal is like a camera that broadcasts to the world everything and anything- from the mundane happenings of life to the deep emotional frenzies one sometimes lapses into. but perhaps we are not as brave as we might think, choosing to hide in the shadow of anonymity, and only revealing emotions freely in our words.
Do u read random blogs? it's amazing how different each and every person is, and how reading through every blog one never fails to be pleasantly surprised. by a thought, a picture, a quote, an idea. If the world were powered by these, we'll never run out of resouces, not ever. Every person has something so unique about them, and i think it's wonderful that we have the opportunity to peek into the lives of all kinds of people. Not only do we learn all sorts of things, often we are reminded of our own thoughts and memories that we have overlooked, hidden away, or have simply forgotten.
One site asked: what did u want to be when u grew up? And i thought of the days when i wanted to be a teacher, days when i just wanted to stay with my grandparents forever, and days where i just wondered how it would feel being 21. Sometimes we just lose sight of our very own special dreams and in their place chase after the more practical and more acceptable ones. I suppose then we can safely say that we haven't failed, and haven't done anything silly with our lives. but then, this way we would never know the feeling of having done something truly meaningful, or having explored beyond our boundaries, would we? I must admit that i have not yet fulfilled some of these dreams within me, but i know that i want to, and that one day i will. I suppose many people think the same way...but eventually fall into the trappings of everyday life....i can't say i won't, but as long as i still keep these dreams close to me, i know half the battle is won. I don't know how my life will turn out from here, just as i didn't know my life now when i thought about it as a child. But i can still hope, and i sure hope i'll have some great stories to share.
Tuesday, April 09, 2002
ack!
mood:
stressed
pretty unsettled feeling about my schoolwork right now. have a midterm and 2 quizzes on thursday...plus neverending homework. my brain thinks about all the impending deadlines and just shuts off. Seriously, i haven't been doing very much work at all this semester (except the days before exams and quizzes that is)...and i'm thankful my grades haven't suffered too much because of it. Yet i know i'm not learning as much as i should. I just cram in as much crap as i can into my head the day before and spit it all out on the exam. Oh, and i'm lucky i suppose...for quite a few classes this sem allow cheat sheets. At least i don't shrink all the lecture slides and squish them into 2 sides...that's what i saw someone doing. 15 lectures worth of black lightning notes shrunk into teeny little blocks and pasted on 2 sheets of paper. damn zai. he was even using a magnifying glass. ack. nevermind. so, if u should see me these couple of days with panda eyes and i snap at u...you know why.
mood:
stressed
pretty unsettled feeling about my schoolwork right now. have a midterm and 2 quizzes on thursday...plus neverending homework. my brain thinks about all the impending deadlines and just shuts off. Seriously, i haven't been doing very much work at all this semester (except the days before exams and quizzes that is)...and i'm thankful my grades haven't suffered too much because of it. Yet i know i'm not learning as much as i should. I just cram in as much crap as i can into my head the day before and spit it all out on the exam. Oh, and i'm lucky i suppose...for quite a few classes this sem allow cheat sheets. At least i don't shrink all the lecture slides and squish them into 2 sides...that's what i saw someone doing. 15 lectures worth of black lightning notes shrunk into teeny little blocks and pasted on 2 sheets of paper. damn zai. he was even using a magnifying glass. ack. nevermind. so, if u should see me these couple of days with panda eyes and i snap at u...you know why.
Monday, April 08, 2002
spring forward
mood:
lazy
i've been a bad girl. Nope, i'm not gonna confess my deep, dark secrets. It's just that i haven't been blogging. boring right? Well, this inertia that i've been feeling has been affecting other aspects of life as well. I haven't done any work the past 3 days..*sighz* Today was yet another wake-up-late and chill-on-my-bed day. Highlights? Cooking lunch, cooking dinner and er..checking email. Also, eating really sweet mango, drinking a yummy cup of hot chocolate lovingly prepared by Yoekie, and melt-in-your-mouth-delicious egg tart from faith. mmmm...u must be training to be a good housewife rite? =) sadly, i am no where to be seen enthusiastically taking up pots and pans and indulging in domestic homey affairs. hey, c'mon...why can't he do all that?
Almost forgot about daylight savings today. Woke up and my computer cheerily reminded me of the time. How could it, when a whole hour has been stolen from a precious sunday? *grumble* So instead of 11am, i woke up at 12pm. which officially makes me a pig (poor misunderstood creatures). oh well, at least i like pigs. It was so weird looking out to a bluish sky at 8pm...it will take a little getting used to. Now the time difference between here and singapore is only 15 hours. So my mornings aren't your late nights anymore...no excuses liaoz.. *grinz* i wouldn't mind more wake-up calls.
Yesterday was Rob's birthday. A special day for a special person. The skies cleared for the first time in days....leaving clear blue skies and balmy breezes...a perfect day for paintball. Yep, glad we tried paintball. It was....interesting. Certainly not as great as i thought it would be, but nevertheless, an enjoyable experience. It was a day where the girls finally got to fire 'real' guns with live human targets to aim at (and 'ammo' to boot). I sucked, but in between hiding behind metal cylinders and inflatable shapes, and mis-aiming at the enemies, i strangely enjoyed rolling in the dirt. (okay, no more pig analogies please) Yesh, and washing up involved some water splishplashing...that was fun. If there's one thing i didn't like, it was getting hit by paintballs. OUCH. they hurt man. luckily, i was really hit by only two paintballs...my gun got most of it...but the one that got my arm left a large bowl-shaped (yes, BOWL-shaped) bruise while the others had roundish red welts. the bruise looks so interesting that i took three pictures of it. It's my first paintball battle scar. Ask me, and i might show it to u. =P I suppose it would have been much more fun if the game involved just us. The others were somewhat expert (or they just seemed so) with shinier, cheemer guns with sights and were mostly semi-automatic. no wonder we were trashed! nah..think we need more practice. One day a larger group of us should go down and reserve the entire field. I'll most probably go again. (And definitely...if the hits didn't sting so) Had a nice post-paintballing meal of dim sum in oakland...it's always nice to eat that in a bigger group..then can try manymany things. finally cut rob's bday cake...and smashed some cream in his face. (bleah, u deserve that rob, for alwez 'zipping' me.)
But that was not the end of our adventure. We chanced upon the Berkeley flea market on the way home, and walked into a treasure trove of african, mongolian and other ethnic goodies. I love flea markets, night markets and the like. i must admit i'm cheapskate...but it's also the thrill of stumbling across non-massproduced treasures and trinkets. I left with a lovely dreamy skirt, and some books. After much deliberation I bought The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. To me it was a magical tale of omens, dreams and hopes woven together and shaped by destiny.
"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?
Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."
It was a wonderful read. but by buying the book, i am afraid that it will no longer seem so special ...and by rereading take away some of its magic. i'll only find out when i get down to reading it again.
Finally, to top off an exceptional saturday, we drove past an extraordinary garden with multitudes of multicoloured tulips....it was a garden right out from a picture book. Yoek n i hopped out of the car and snapped manymany happy pictures. Poor hk had to put up with our estatic squeals and sudden photo-posing frenzy. It was great. Totally spontaneous and totally a surprise, which made it a thousand times better. Makes one wonder about life, and the simple pleasures it holds. sometimes, the greatest treasures are found in the most unlikely places, aren't they?
mood:
lazy
i've been a bad girl. Nope, i'm not gonna confess my deep, dark secrets. It's just that i haven't been blogging. boring right? Well, this inertia that i've been feeling has been affecting other aspects of life as well. I haven't done any work the past 3 days..*sighz* Today was yet another wake-up-late and chill-on-my-bed day. Highlights? Cooking lunch, cooking dinner and er..checking email. Also, eating really sweet mango, drinking a yummy cup of hot chocolate lovingly prepared by Yoekie, and melt-in-your-mouth-delicious egg tart from faith. mmmm...u must be training to be a good housewife rite? =) sadly, i am no where to be seen enthusiastically taking up pots and pans and indulging in domestic homey affairs. hey, c'mon...why can't he do all that?
Almost forgot about daylight savings today. Woke up and my computer cheerily reminded me of the time. How could it, when a whole hour has been stolen from a precious sunday? *grumble* So instead of 11am, i woke up at 12pm. which officially makes me a pig (poor misunderstood creatures). oh well, at least i like pigs. It was so weird looking out to a bluish sky at 8pm...it will take a little getting used to. Now the time difference between here and singapore is only 15 hours. So my mornings aren't your late nights anymore...no excuses liaoz.. *grinz* i wouldn't mind more wake-up calls.
Yesterday was Rob's birthday. A special day for a special person. The skies cleared for the first time in days....leaving clear blue skies and balmy breezes...a perfect day for paintball. Yep, glad we tried paintball. It was....interesting. Certainly not as great as i thought it would be, but nevertheless, an enjoyable experience. It was a day where the girls finally got to fire 'real' guns with live human targets to aim at (and 'ammo' to boot). I sucked, but in between hiding behind metal cylinders and inflatable shapes, and mis-aiming at the enemies, i strangely enjoyed rolling in the dirt. (okay, no more pig analogies please) Yesh, and washing up involved some water splishplashing...that was fun. If there's one thing i didn't like, it was getting hit by paintballs. OUCH. they hurt man. luckily, i was really hit by only two paintballs...my gun got most of it...but the one that got my arm left a large bowl-shaped (yes, BOWL-shaped) bruise while the others had roundish red welts. the bruise looks so interesting that i took three pictures of it. It's my first paintball battle scar. Ask me, and i might show it to u. =P I suppose it would have been much more fun if the game involved just us. The others were somewhat expert (or they just seemed so) with shinier, cheemer guns with sights and were mostly semi-automatic. no wonder we were trashed! nah..think we need more practice. One day a larger group of us should go down and reserve the entire field. I'll most probably go again. (And definitely...if the hits didn't sting so) Had a nice post-paintballing meal of dim sum in oakland...it's always nice to eat that in a bigger group..then can try manymany things. finally cut rob's bday cake...and smashed some cream in his face. (bleah, u deserve that rob, for alwez 'zipping' me.)
But that was not the end of our adventure. We chanced upon the Berkeley flea market on the way home, and walked into a treasure trove of african, mongolian and other ethnic goodies. I love flea markets, night markets and the like. i must admit i'm cheapskate...but it's also the thrill of stumbling across non-massproduced treasures and trinkets. I left with a lovely dreamy skirt, and some books. After much deliberation I bought The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. To me it was a magical tale of omens, dreams and hopes woven together and shaped by destiny.
"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?
Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."
It was a wonderful read. but by buying the book, i am afraid that it will no longer seem so special ...and by rereading take away some of its magic. i'll only find out when i get down to reading it again.
Finally, to top off an exceptional saturday, we drove past an extraordinary garden with multitudes of multicoloured tulips....it was a garden right out from a picture book. Yoek n i hopped out of the car and snapped manymany happy pictures. Poor hk had to put up with our estatic squeals and sudden photo-posing frenzy. It was great. Totally spontaneous and totally a surprise, which made it a thousand times better. Makes one wonder about life, and the simple pleasures it holds. sometimes, the greatest treasures are found in the most unlikely places, aren't they?
Thursday, April 04, 2002
humdrum
mood:
productive
sitting in one of the libraries in school....feeling very tired and hungry. But i don't feel like returning home just yet. there's something about being in a totally quiet(at this time it is) space...with only the low hum of the computers, occasional typing of the person next to me, oh..and of course my own very unquiet typing on the nice bouncy keyboard for company. It seems as though the absence of conversation, or any spoken words at all, allows my own inner thoughts to emerge from the deep recesses of my mind and come out to play. Perhaps that is why i seldom study in a library. Often i get even more distracted in the library...someone walking in just disrupts my train of thought as i start wondering who this person is, what this person is doing and so on...or like i pick up a word from a nearby conversation and my mind immediately races off making its own connections until the word blue triggers off memories of eating omelettes or something to that effect. Maybe i should start having conversations with people strictly over the internet. No need to worry about where to put my hands or what to say or finding the most comfortable position to stand. Just good 'ol words, nothing to distract one from a conversation. Yet, i know i would never be content with words flashing on the screen...Nothing beats the look of surprise when someone is surprised, or the sight of a real smile slowly spreading across the face causing your eyes to go all crinklywrinkly. who wants just this -----> =) ? so is a good conversation all we look for? I suppose not. sometimes i worry whether people get too sian of what i'm saying to them....or find me interesting and engaging enough...oh well, i suppose i don't really judge people that way....so...should i worry at all? haiyah..i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore. better change subject..not good to go on about this when the library is closing in 14 minutes. *beeeeeeepbeeeeeeeep* went the buzzer.
--------------------------------------------------
sidenote: weirded out....just stared at the comp screen to reading something for 2 minutes...then when i look back at the keyboard it's gone all greenish yellow. HELP!
--------------------------------------------------
That reminds me of the SF exploratorium (sniff... just last thursday). sometimes when u look at a bright light and space out, u may see these little specks moving in a certain direction...those are the blood cells moving through bld vessels in your eye. We had a whole lot of fun there....felt like little primary school kids running through the singapore science center again..but better coz now we can actually appreciate how amazing some things are. go and visit someday if u have the time...pretty cool. I'm glad i had the company too....it was nice sharing this experience with someone just as excited and into it as i was. We were just rushing from one exhibit to another trying to take it all in (but we missed out some on the upper level) in between all our "oohs" and "aahs"....while trying to avoid the manymany kids and "chope" a certain interesting exhibit. yesh...we were big kids that day. =) And a nice place for "grown-up" us was just a stone's throw away at the Palace of Fine Arts... what a beautiful day. (i kept on singing about it which i admit must be quite irritating..hehz)
mood:
productive
sitting in one of the libraries in school....feeling very tired and hungry. But i don't feel like returning home just yet. there's something about being in a totally quiet(at this time it is) space...with only the low hum of the computers, occasional typing of the person next to me, oh..and of course my own very unquiet typing on the nice bouncy keyboard for company. It seems as though the absence of conversation, or any spoken words at all, allows my own inner thoughts to emerge from the deep recesses of my mind and come out to play. Perhaps that is why i seldom study in a library. Often i get even more distracted in the library...someone walking in just disrupts my train of thought as i start wondering who this person is, what this person is doing and so on...or like i pick up a word from a nearby conversation and my mind immediately races off making its own connections until the word blue triggers off memories of eating omelettes or something to that effect. Maybe i should start having conversations with people strictly over the internet. No need to worry about where to put my hands or what to say or finding the most comfortable position to stand. Just good 'ol words, nothing to distract one from a conversation. Yet, i know i would never be content with words flashing on the screen...Nothing beats the look of surprise when someone is surprised, or the sight of a real smile slowly spreading across the face causing your eyes to go all crinklywrinkly. who wants just this -----> =) ? so is a good conversation all we look for? I suppose not. sometimes i worry whether people get too sian of what i'm saying to them....or find me interesting and engaging enough...oh well, i suppose i don't really judge people that way....so...should i worry at all? haiyah..i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore. better change subject..not good to go on about this when the library is closing in 14 minutes. *beeeeeeepbeeeeeeeep* went the buzzer.
--------------------------------------------------
sidenote: weirded out....just stared at the comp screen to reading something for 2 minutes...then when i look back at the keyboard it's gone all greenish yellow. HELP!
--------------------------------------------------
That reminds me of the SF exploratorium (sniff... just last thursday). sometimes when u look at a bright light and space out, u may see these little specks moving in a certain direction...those are the blood cells moving through bld vessels in your eye. We had a whole lot of fun there....felt like little primary school kids running through the singapore science center again..but better coz now we can actually appreciate how amazing some things are. go and visit someday if u have the time...pretty cool. I'm glad i had the company too....it was nice sharing this experience with someone just as excited and into it as i was. We were just rushing from one exhibit to another trying to take it all in (but we missed out some on the upper level) in between all our "oohs" and "aahs"....while trying to avoid the manymany kids and "chope" a certain interesting exhibit. yesh...we were big kids that day. =) And a nice place for "grown-up" us was just a stone's throw away at the Palace of Fine Arts... what a beautiful day. (i kept on singing about it which i admit must be quite irritating..hehz)
Monday, April 01, 2002
still wishing
mood:
feeling blue
haven't published in a while...now that he's come and gone...i'm kinda feeling out of it. Knowing that he's safely back home takes a load off my mind....but what's left behind is an emptiness, a void that will not be filled, not until summer that is. And occasionally the loneliness rises up and overwhelms me. I step into my room, and i long to hear the strumming of the guitar. I brush my teeth, and i miss the green toothbrush. I get into bed, and i shiver at the cold. I wake from a nightmare, and no one is there to comfort me. *sigh* i sure had a wonderful two weeks, and i hope he did too. The scenic drives we went on, the buffets we ate, the blustery winds we faced, the longlonglong walks we shared, the daunting slopes we conquered, the funny photos we took, the boggle sessions we had...all the memories of these two weeks will stay close to me. We did nothing really exciting nor see anything spectacular (save for the grandeur of Whistler). And yet i had the time of my life.... just being, and existing together once again.
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
mood:
feeling blue
haven't published in a while...now that he's come and gone...i'm kinda feeling out of it. Knowing that he's safely back home takes a load off my mind....but what's left behind is an emptiness, a void that will not be filled, not until summer that is. And occasionally the loneliness rises up and overwhelms me. I step into my room, and i long to hear the strumming of the guitar. I brush my teeth, and i miss the green toothbrush. I get into bed, and i shiver at the cold. I wake from a nightmare, and no one is there to comfort me. *sigh* i sure had a wonderful two weeks, and i hope he did too. The scenic drives we went on, the buffets we ate, the blustery winds we faced, the longlonglong walks we shared, the daunting slopes we conquered, the funny photos we took, the boggle sessions we had...all the memories of these two weeks will stay close to me. We did nothing really exciting nor see anything spectacular (save for the grandeur of Whistler). And yet i had the time of my life.... just being, and existing together once again.
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
Wednesday, March 20, 2002
Dreams
mood:
veryvery happy
Hmm....haven't written in quite while. But there's so much to say..so much that i've been thinking about..but somehow, i just can't and don't want to put it down in words. It's just that i feel so much in my heart and that's where its going to stay. It's just been such a wonderful 5 days. It's a pity i had to spend so much time in school. It's just so hard tearing yourself away from the warmth and comfort of someone so important to face the cold outside air and the boredom (and loneliness) of a long school day. bleh. We're leaving for Vancouver tonight. Glad to finally be taking a break....and gladder that we are finally able to share them together. It's rather miserable seeing him only 2 months every year. People say that absence makes the heart fonder, but...it's just so hard to go through each day without, once you know how wonderful a day with is.
Okay, no more whining.. Hmm. F was driving in front of me on the way home from school. Thought it was quite funny...both of us eagerly driving back home in the middle of the day. i wonder if we experienced a similar anticipation and felt a familiar happiness...*wink* Life just feels so different now. There's so much to catch up on, so much to talk about and it feels so nice just being able to see each other's facial expressions. Every smile, every frown, every grin, and every loving gaze.....just goes straight to the heart...and fills me with so much emotion. gosh, i miss this feeling so much.
My friends too, have given me so much cause for happiness. Thanks mich, got your card. Yep, i know what u mean....haven't seen u in almost a year...but i know when we all meet up we'll revert back to our crazy, wacky childlike antics. Especially Angie...=P I'm really looking forward to summer too! Glad that everything's going well for u in UK....and don't care about the boring s'pore guys lah...must look for british Prince William lookalikes. =) And Kaiy, thank u thank u thank u.....received all the stuff from u and the other canoeists..please help me thank them. I really don't feel that close to them...so i'm really touched. Really happy to receive prezzies (yay!) but happier that i've got a friend in you. Still remember how we met...and clicked...must be fated to be friends forever liaoz lah...poor me. gotta put up with your loud voice and boorish antics. (oh....and your you-know-what too!!!! haha...don't whack me!) You're a wunderfully sweet and warm person..and people love you. Me included! =) Alright...someone else beckons. Think he's getting bored with the guitar. Enjoy the warm weather everyone! Have a great spring break...
I'll miss u yoek, but i know you'll have a great time in sunny mexico...see you soon!
mood:
veryvery happy
Hmm....haven't written in quite while. But there's so much to say..so much that i've been thinking about..but somehow, i just can't and don't want to put it down in words. It's just that i feel so much in my heart and that's where its going to stay. It's just been such a wonderful 5 days. It's a pity i had to spend so much time in school. It's just so hard tearing yourself away from the warmth and comfort of someone so important to face the cold outside air and the boredom (and loneliness) of a long school day. bleh. We're leaving for Vancouver tonight. Glad to finally be taking a break....and gladder that we are finally able to share them together. It's rather miserable seeing him only 2 months every year. People say that absence makes the heart fonder, but...it's just so hard to go through each day without, once you know how wonderful a day with is.
Okay, no more whining.. Hmm. F was driving in front of me on the way home from school. Thought it was quite funny...both of us eagerly driving back home in the middle of the day. i wonder if we experienced a similar anticipation and felt a familiar happiness...*wink* Life just feels so different now. There's so much to catch up on, so much to talk about and it feels so nice just being able to see each other's facial expressions. Every smile, every frown, every grin, and every loving gaze.....just goes straight to the heart...and fills me with so much emotion. gosh, i miss this feeling so much.
My friends too, have given me so much cause for happiness. Thanks mich, got your card. Yep, i know what u mean....haven't seen u in almost a year...but i know when we all meet up we'll revert back to our crazy, wacky childlike antics. Especially Angie...=P I'm really looking forward to summer too! Glad that everything's going well for u in UK....and don't care about the boring s'pore guys lah...must look for british Prince William lookalikes. =) And Kaiy, thank u thank u thank u.....received all the stuff from u and the other canoeists..please help me thank them. I really don't feel that close to them...so i'm really touched. Really happy to receive prezzies (yay!) but happier that i've got a friend in you. Still remember how we met...and clicked...must be fated to be friends forever liaoz lah...poor me. gotta put up with your loud voice and boorish antics. (oh....and your you-know-what too!!!! haha...don't whack me!) You're a wunderfully sweet and warm person..and people love you. Me included! =) Alright...someone else beckons. Think he's getting bored with the guitar. Enjoy the warm weather everyone! Have a great spring break...
I'll miss u yoek, but i know you'll have a great time in sunny mexico...see you soon!
Saturday, March 16, 2002
can't wait
3,2,1...
he called from the airport just now. This means he's really on his way. means he'll reallyreallyreally be here in 15 hours. Somehow, i still can't and won't believe it until i see him in front of me, in the flesh. It just seems so unreal... my life in Singapore is finally crossing paths with my life here. Don't they seem like two entirely separate worlds at times? oh sheesh, i don't feel like writing. don't feel like doing anything! Instead, i just wanna lie in bed and wait and wait and wait for 5pm to come... enough from me for now...
Hope you're having a good flight dear... Please take care. =)
let's share this precious time together...and have a very special spring break.
----------------
damn, i'm falling asleep in front of the comp again. Better go sleep and awake to a better tomorrow...zzZ
he called from the airport just now. This means he's really on his way. means he'll reallyreallyreally be here in 15 hours. Somehow, i still can't and won't believe it until i see him in front of me, in the flesh. It just seems so unreal... my life in Singapore is finally crossing paths with my life here. Don't they seem like two entirely separate worlds at times? oh sheesh, i don't feel like writing. don't feel like doing anything! Instead, i just wanna lie in bed and wait and wait and wait for 5pm to come... enough from me for now...
Hope you're having a good flight dear... Please take care. =)
let's share this precious time together...and have a very special spring break.
----------------
damn, i'm falling asleep in front of the comp again. Better go sleep and awake to a better tomorrow...zzZ
Friday, March 15, 2002
a trip down Moeser Lane
mood:
pretty cheery
been feeling rather under the weather lately. Been bogged down by alot of happenings. Mostly midterms. *sighz* There just seems to be a neverending vicious cycle of homework, midterms, quizzes and readings. I try to tell myself to do constant work, keep up with readings etcetc...but i never do. At the very most, sudden moments of industry are just well, moments, but usually resulting only in cleaner clothes and a neater room. Because i'm pretty far behind in my readings...studying for midterms is a chore. a really tiring one esp. coz i do it( or rather try to) all in one day. I feel like i'm on a train chugging towards disaster...and as it draws closer and closer to the broken bridge (or something to that effect), i feel a sense of dread; my heart starts beating faster, my mouth goes dry ( and i get hungry but that's out of pt)...and even with only a few minutes left...i'm still desperately struggling to finish those chapters. It's a pretty darn unsettling feeling, but it's been like this the past 3 midterms this sem. *groan* said i'm gonna catch up on my 5-week back log of reading during spring break...but yeah right, what are the chances? i'll be too busy lah. hehe =P
Took a little trip up Moeser lane on the way home. Was debating between that and chicken from KFC...eventually the sunset won me over. It was beautiful, as usual. Actually 'beautiful' doesn't do it justice. As one overlooks the entire bay and looks past the Golden Gate, out onto the endless Pacific, there is just this sense of awe and of overwhelming vastness. It seems like a whole new world to me, and i pinch myself just to make sure that i'm really there- so close to San Francisco, to the Golden Gate, and to the edge of the Pacific. My eyes can't get enough of the wide expanse of shimmering blue water, sprawling shadowy hills, and far away in the distance, a huge blanket of clouds looming over the ocean, threatening to engulf the land. and when i'm driving up, it sometimes seems to me that as the road goes up and up, it continues on and on, all the way to the heavens...Then when u turn around and drive downyou see heaven. Lucky kel and jane. it must be wonderful living up there... *dream.......dream dream dream..* Someone once mentioned that after seeing the same scene every single day makes the experience lose its freshness and its beauty. I absolutely disagree, and so too do those who live there. Called Kel after the sunset to pop by her place and borrow the guide to Vancouver(happyhappy joyjoy). Turns out that she was out there too...moments before, watching the same spectacular sunset on the very same road. I'm glad we shared that moment together, even though we didn't know it. It's just nice knowing that there's someone out there, thinking, doing, experiencing the very same thing. Kinda like An American Tail, where Fievel sings 'somewhere out there' to the family that he's lost...(that show made me cry so much when i was little). Moreover, the view should not be wasted...yep, told YK i'd bring him up there someday.
Maybe it's just like being in love. Love too changes your view of the world. Even though one experiences it every single day, we seldom get tired of it....in fact, we can't get enough of it. There's something slightly different about it each time u look at it, but somehow, it never fails to amaze or surprise all over again. And sometimes, clouds roll in and rain sets in, but nevertheless one day, the rain will stop, the clouds vanish, and a rainbow appears in its place...A naive comparison perhaps. Yes, if anything, love is probably greater.
we've had our fair share of ups and downs, but i'm glad we go through them never too far from each other...and we come out of it stronger, closer, and more appreciative of the sunny days together.
a day to go...to have someone go up Moeser Lane with me...=)
mood:
pretty cheery
been feeling rather under the weather lately. Been bogged down by alot of happenings. Mostly midterms. *sighz* There just seems to be a neverending vicious cycle of homework, midterms, quizzes and readings. I try to tell myself to do constant work, keep up with readings etcetc...but i never do. At the very most, sudden moments of industry are just well, moments, but usually resulting only in cleaner clothes and a neater room. Because i'm pretty far behind in my readings...studying for midterms is a chore. a really tiring one esp. coz i do it( or rather try to) all in one day. I feel like i'm on a train chugging towards disaster...and as it draws closer and closer to the broken bridge (or something to that effect), i feel a sense of dread; my heart starts beating faster, my mouth goes dry ( and i get hungry but that's out of pt)...and even with only a few minutes left...i'm still desperately struggling to finish those chapters. It's a pretty darn unsettling feeling, but it's been like this the past 3 midterms this sem. *groan* said i'm gonna catch up on my 5-week back log of reading during spring break...but yeah right, what are the chances? i'll be too busy lah. hehe =P
Took a little trip up Moeser lane on the way home. Was debating between that and chicken from KFC...eventually the sunset won me over. It was beautiful, as usual. Actually 'beautiful' doesn't do it justice. As one overlooks the entire bay and looks past the Golden Gate, out onto the endless Pacific, there is just this sense of awe and of overwhelming vastness. It seems like a whole new world to me, and i pinch myself just to make sure that i'm really there- so close to San Francisco, to the Golden Gate, and to the edge of the Pacific. My eyes can't get enough of the wide expanse of shimmering blue water, sprawling shadowy hills, and far away in the distance, a huge blanket of clouds looming over the ocean, threatening to engulf the land. and when i'm driving up, it sometimes seems to me that as the road goes up and up, it continues on and on, all the way to the heavens...Then when u turn around and drive downyou see heaven. Lucky kel and jane. it must be wonderful living up there... *dream.......dream dream dream..* Someone once mentioned that after seeing the same scene every single day makes the experience lose its freshness and its beauty. I absolutely disagree, and so too do those who live there. Called Kel after the sunset to pop by her place and borrow the guide to Vancouver(happyhappy joyjoy). Turns out that she was out there too...moments before, watching the same spectacular sunset on the very same road. I'm glad we shared that moment together, even though we didn't know it. It's just nice knowing that there's someone out there, thinking, doing, experiencing the very same thing. Kinda like An American Tail, where Fievel sings 'somewhere out there' to the family that he's lost...(that show made me cry so much when i was little). Moreover, the view should not be wasted...yep, told YK i'd bring him up there someday.
Maybe it's just like being in love. Love too changes your view of the world. Even though one experiences it every single day, we seldom get tired of it....in fact, we can't get enough of it. There's something slightly different about it each time u look at it, but somehow, it never fails to amaze or surprise all over again. And sometimes, clouds roll in and rain sets in, but nevertheless one day, the rain will stop, the clouds vanish, and a rainbow appears in its place...A naive comparison perhaps. Yes, if anything, love is probably greater.
we've had our fair share of ups and downs, but i'm glad we go through them never too far from each other...and we come out of it stronger, closer, and more appreciative of the sunny days together.
a day to go...to have someone go up Moeser Lane with me...=)
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