me and my silly questions
mood: relieved
i mugged and mugged so hard in the last 24 hours that i feel absolutely burnt out right now. *snapcracklepop* can't wait to go back home and rest. It was torturous ploughing through all that boring EE40 stuff. It's a evil class..now i know why Rob n ilyas warned not to take it. MOSFETS, CMOS, NMOS, op-amps, rectifiers, fabrication, pn junctions, logic blahblahblah....add cardiac protheses, artificial heart vessels, gene delivery and growth factor delivery...and add ~40 german words and learn how to change them to the perfect tense...and u know what's floating around in my brain right now. A whole lot of jumbled mishmash. And fried neurons. but i have no one to blame but myself...really, i should be doing more consistent work, rather than stressing myself out the day before exams, and force the poor him to listen to my incoherent grumblings.
Even though i told myself to focus wholly on work, i managed to sneak in trading spaces, 2 blind dates, 2 makeover stories, the amazing race AND gone in 60 seconds. talk about lack of discipline. I dunno leh. i think like some shows i'll just never get the chance to watch again, so i do. Especially these shove-a-camera-in-your-face kind of reality TV. Although i do think them stupid sometimes (like the Bachelor), i still can't help but watch. Probably i'm a closet voyeur...so beware of me and don't let me get too close...if you've got something to hide that is. =P I just think it's so interesting to watch people. Their reactions, their body language, their thoughts....i suppose reading blogs has a similar attractiveness to it. The online journal is like a camera that broadcasts to the world everything and anything- from the mundane happenings of life to the deep emotional frenzies one sometimes lapses into. but perhaps we are not as brave as we might think, choosing to hide in the shadow of anonymity, and only revealing emotions freely in our words.
Do u read random blogs? it's amazing how different each and every person is, and how reading through every blog one never fails to be pleasantly surprised. by a thought, a picture, a quote, an idea. If the world were powered by these, we'll never run out of resouces, not ever. Every person has something so unique about them, and i think it's wonderful that we have the opportunity to peek into the lives of all kinds of people. Not only do we learn all sorts of things, often we are reminded of our own thoughts and memories that we have overlooked, hidden away, or have simply forgotten.
One site asked: what did u want to be when u grew up? And i thought of the days when i wanted to be a teacher, days when i just wanted to stay with my grandparents forever, and days where i just wondered how it would feel being 21. Sometimes we just lose sight of our very own special dreams and in their place chase after the more practical and more acceptable ones. I suppose then we can safely say that we haven't failed, and haven't done anything silly with our lives. but then, this way we would never know the feeling of having done something truly meaningful, or having explored beyond our boundaries, would we? I must admit that i have not yet fulfilled some of these dreams within me, but i know that i want to, and that one day i will. I suppose many people think the same way...but eventually fall into the trappings of everyday life....i can't say i won't, but as long as i still keep these dreams close to me, i know half the battle is won. I don't know how my life will turn out from here, just as i didn't know my life now when i thought about it as a child. But i can still hope, and i sure hope i'll have some great stories to share.