Of Footy and Of Times long gone
mood: nostalgic
You'll Never Walk Alone...
finally caught a liverpool game today. wonderful 3-0 win over newcastle. happy. but happier that i actually got to watch the game instead of simply reading about it on the internet. Somehow, writing just isn't the same as actually watching the beautiful flowing passes and the spectacular breathtaking goals materialize on the screen....i suppose it has something to do with the whole build up; the anticipation, the great desire to win, the urge to jump out of your seat and the excitement u feel at watching at a stupendously fantastic defense splitting pass then "GOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!" and finally the immense reservior of emotion spills forth, and you leap up, hands waving around wildly, head spinning fiercely, and your heart feels like it's beating harder than it ever and the sky just lights up with fireworks and meteorite showers (okay, so the last part was a leeettle exaggerated). But it's great, really, to know that 'your' team is winning, and in the race for the much coveted title.
i dream...of going to Anfield to catch liverpool in action...and take in the crowd roaring at every stunning shot, every brilliant save, every well-placed pass and every well-timed tackle... i hope... one day this will be a reality. I wouldn't say that i know alot about soccer....far from it in fact. Sometimes i wish i play soccer, so that i can better understand the intricacies of the game and the things to watch out for. More importantly, I want to experience scoring the winning goal, the pride of winning a game, the sweat and the tears behind every game....and the warm, fuzzy feeling of teamwork... Nothing beats the feeling of having that special bond that links the lives and fates of 10 other people to yours... your pain is their pain, and your joy is their joy.

I miss those days.
Yes mich, i reallyreally do. so much sometimes that i just want to curl up in a ball and think of nothing else. A part of me regrets quitting, but yet somehow...i just felt that i had to let go and start anew. Maybe the team just wasn't the same anymore....maybe it just wasn't the same without Bok. Or maybe, i wasn't the same anymore, and not content to play the same secondary role. Maybe i was just a coward, and thought it was time to give up... I don't regret canoeing, not at all. (I'll have to save that for another day...) so..i'm not complaining. It's just that leaving this behind was like leaving a large part of my past behind. All those years we spent training together, all the growing up we did together, and the dreams we shared with each other....i miss that so much. And now, 4 years on, memories of leaving school early, the colourful coleman flasks, TJA (haha), the black Converse shoes, the running-to-the-wall-torture, the stories exchanged at camp, the figure of eights, and the long bus rides still haunt me. But they fade as the years go by....i can barely remember the drills, the swooshing sound when the ball falls cleanly into the net, the sweltering afternoons at Kallang, the countless games...and yar..now i'm not even sure if WD is on the left or right. Ha.

But i know i'm too scared to join Bok again. I'm afraid i'm no longer up to par..but mostly, i'm afraid that i will no longer fit into the team, for 4 years is a long time. Perhaps too long for rifts to heal, and relationships to mend.