no strings attached
mood: super weather day!
Guess what? I'm sitting on my bed writing out this blog...isn't it cool? It's just perfect for someone as lazy as me. =) Yes, i splurged and bought myself a cordless keyboard and mouse. It was going at such a great price (only $35) such that i couldn't resist. Guess the digital camera will just have to wait a little longer. Wish i had a bigger computer scrreen though, coz it's rather hard to read the littler words..Argh..okay..now i have even less of an excuse to get out of my comfy bed....soon my poor leg muscles will waste away into oblivion, and i'll be a slob...but a cool, high tech, wired one, with incredibly strong fingers. .

summertime reunion
Happy coz i'll go to sleep tonight having just had a great conversation. Life stories, travel updates, latest gossip and weather trends were exchanged over much missed lighthearted bantering and laughter. =) Everytime i talk to her i'm reminded of the year we spent living together. Some days, especially the sunny days which make you feel like there's so much of the world to take in, i'm reminded of her more than ever. It's nice to have a friend to appreciate the littlest things in life with. Like feel all excited over a simple sandwich, or the blueness of the bay. Or the feeling of grass between one's toes, or finding a little ladybug. mm..I have a feeling we'll get to meet up here in Berkeley again. Just to let you know...I'm looking forward to that day, when we'll share our stories while soaking up sun on Memorial Glade! =)

ole ole...to good weather days
I'm spending yet another afternoon in lab. Indoors. Seriously, how many hours do scientist and researchers while away in the lab just waiting for for invisible molecules to interact with other different, but just as invisible, molecules? Stripping a membrane takes an hour, blocking it another hour. Incubating it with a primary antibody takes two hours, and secondary Ab yet another hour. And those are just waiting times. And so many times, after you invest what feels like half your life doing an experiment, one step goes horrendously wrong, and you say byebye to your results. It can be frustrating completing an experiment, much less duplicates of multiple experiments. We should all be thankful for those good natured, fluorescent-light-loving scientists who spend their days and nights running experiments and killing animals for the good of mankind. One example is the italian expert that sacrificed his life identifying the SARS virus currently going around the world. My parents have always dissuaded me from doing microbiology, in fear of such an outcome. well, no matter what field of biology i pursue, i really hope that it brings some good to the world. I didn't choose to do bioengineering because of the government, i chose it for myself. Although i didn't really know what i was getting into, at the end of 3 years, i'm real glad that i chose to take this path. Bioengineering allows me to do basic biological research, and yet apply it to solving everyday needs. Stuff i'm interested in now: tissue engineered cardiovascular or liver tissue. I'm excited about the coming year. Let's see where it takes me. =)
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On a different note, i spent lunchtime in a corner of La Val's at northside with 40 strangers, brought together by the live Real Madrid - Man Utd game. (i'm sure half of you will stop reading this entry from here on =P) Although not a fan of either team, I was just curious to see if the hype surrounding the game could live up to expectations. It was pretty awesome. Awesome Real Madrid scored awesome goals. But what was more interesting, was watching the other watchers. It's pretty rare to find so many people in a pizza joint, sitting in front of a huge TV, watching not baseball, not basketball, not american football, but real english football. There were some who came in, glanced at the TV, then sat facing away, focused only on lunch. Those were the americans. Then there were those who brought throngs of friends and added to the atmosphere. Those were Spanish. Also, there were British (my ex-math TA!) and Brazilian and Indians. Pretty cool huh? It was like the I-house had moved to northside. =) It's always fun watching soccer with people. The "ooohs" and "aaahs" really do make a difference. If only i had someone to watch soccer with...*sigh* too bad fellow liverpool fans are a tad far away!

if i could just...
it always hurts to say goodbye. the stabbing pain when we hug our last hug. the dull, empty achy feeling as he disappears around the corner. the tears. it never gets any easier. i know we're strong, and every day we spend together reaffirms that. but it's amazing how one person can change your life. Every day is a day to look forward to. and every day, no matter rain or shine, is one of the best days you've ever had. but well, life goes on. and i'm fine now. no more tears, no more sadness. just looking forward to the next time we meet, which is still somewhat uncertain. but mostly, looking back on the beautiful 2.5 weeks we shared together, i'm real glad. =)
welcome back mundane life! right, gotta start day one w/o him studying for midterms. *groan*

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Making my way down town
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder ..

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you... tonight

high ho (to the tune of Heigh Ho)
High ho High ho
It's off in a plane we go
We fly so high, we touch the sky
High ho High ho High ho ...
Somehow this little tune that my sec 1 gep camp group invented has stayed with me all these years. Given, it is not a very difficult tune at all, but aiyah...give me some credit lah. We were the "Wright Brothers", thus 'High-ho"...geddit? haha..cute little sec one peeps we were. =) We were bundled off to this dark youth hostel thing on Sentosa, where every group shared a room with many many bunk beds. It was on this camp that i picked up some very useful skills, such as how to play Daidee. Of course, we played a slightly nicer version called "Asshole". it was fun, sitting on the top bunks of beds, calling each other assholes, manholes, kings, queens and the like. Oh, and bridge too, now that used up more brainpower, but it was useful, and helped me get by many boring moments in the future. somehow, i think that if you play bridge, people assume you have some kind of mental capacity. But when u play daidee, it's more "aiyeeee, u got all the 2s, no wonder u win lah". but fun fun fun all the same.
Anywez, i've kinda lost the point of this blog. Just wanted to send some love out to him, all the way across the pacific, who'll be getting on the plane to SF pretty soon. *huggies*
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Anywez, check out Singapore's First Online Ghost Stories. *evil laughter* Haha...campfire tales have gone high tech! Remember all those leetle black books with spooky eyes that we have read some time or another in our lives? It's somewhat like that, except the stories are submitted via email and posted online. farnee titles like 'terror tekong" and "bedok beware". They even have a picture section, which is erm, interesting. go see see!

making a mess of things
gosh, why am i so terribly untidy? Trying to clear up my room bit by bit everyday so that he'll have some space to put his stuff. Yet somehow, piles of stuff never seem to stop appearing on my table and floor day after day. Clothes suddenly sprout on my desk and chair, while notebooks and magazines line the floor. Perhaps i was picked up from a rubbish bin, for my parents are the neatest and most organized people i know. Messy room syndrome will terrorize me for the rest of my life! =(
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went for a dance class with housemates and hk. attempted foxtrot and samba. woohoo. okay, really, i had a great time....just that dancing seems like a rather personal and intimate thing...and so it was kinda weird to dance with some random guy. remind me to convince him to try it out. haha, it'll be something if he does.

snippets of spring
mood: comatose
Weekly dinner parties are a great idea. Ever since we started hosting them 3 weeks ago, saturday/sunday nights have been something to look forward to. We get to meet the mysterious 'missing' members of berkeleybunch, like rob. Also, our uncoordinated schedules result in our cooking our own meals on weeknights. so this reminds of how nice it is to sit down and eat a nice big meal together. yesterday the 7 of us enjoyed a spread of salmon, roast chicken, mifen and veggies (not to forget the all important contribution of rice from L). Somehow we managed a comfortable level of conversation while having our attention fixated on the "dirty dancing" taking place on tv. This movie and dinner parties always reminds me of yoek, and i thought of her, and how much she would enjoy this. But i'm sure she's having a great time in France, having her own little dinner parties. =)
Cooking is always fun, and my housemates have never failed to surprise with culinary experiments throughout the semester. Sometimes a cheesecake suddenly appears in the fridge, or i wake up to the smell of bread pudding. Very often there are yummy-looking pork dishes that i drool just looking at. lucky, lucky me. hopefully when the *ahem* 'man-slave' (as kaka and i call them) arrives, i'll be the one preparing delectable dishes for them, while he washes up. so much to look forward in just 3 days!
Past weekends have been the epitome of sloth and unproductivity and this one is no different. Spent the day glued to the telly. 12 Angry Men blows me away every single time. Although it's in black and white, although there are 12 not-so-hunky men, although 95% of the film is set in the one same room, it is nevertheless a gripping expose of the jury system. Watch/read it! who cares about homework?
Argh, my browser has crashed on me 3 times in the past 30 minutes. It's a sign. time to go.
*sigh* i can't wait till wednesday...*big grinz*

jingle bells
the best thing about christmas is the boxing day sale. haha. not really lah, although it does make life more exciting. well, i really enjoy being home in singapore for christmas, and spending it with family and close friends. Once again, my family had a potluck cum gift exchange dinner. it was a very singaporean christmassy spread though, with lontong, bak kut teh and chicken rice. my favourite part was the little cardboard christmas tree, lovingly made by my 11-yr old cousin, decorated with handmade ornaments and surrounded by the various to-be-exchanged gifts. =) yay. christmas gives me such a warm and fuzzy feeling.
then it only got better as i met vin, vee and ckw for a cosy christmas countdown/chat at Swisshotel's Introbar. Originally planned to go Cityscape (fantastic views of the city), but changed our minds after finding out about the $40 charge. At midnight, crackers were popped and we had a little water fight with the waterguns hidden inside. We walked out $20 poorer, but refreshed and happy, with multicoloured paper crowns on our heads and a big smile on our faces. but the night was still young, and at ckw's home in "very central" Hougang, we watched The Santa Clause 2 and played mahjong all night long. what a way to celebrate christmas. =)
It would have been nice spending x'mas with him, that's like the only special occasion that we ever get to spend together. well, we'll just have to make up for it in future. =P but it's nice to know that we're both enjoying ourselves, he in New York, and me in Singapore.
we finally got in touch again...guess my family just never told me he called, and he didn't know to try the hp. well, i'm just glad he's safe, and that all this time i was thinking of him, i was never too far away in his thoughts either.

killing me softly
wonder what's up with him now. Haven't heard anything in a while, and it worries me sick. Is he in germany, or the US or on his way to singapore? sadly, i have no idea. I tell myself to have faith and that he will call soon. but the hours go by, and i get more and more restless. i understand that his airtickets are all unconfirmed, and on standby, meaning that he has to be at the gate before knowing if he's on the flight. and i suppose i've been out, and i just got the hp yesterday. maybe he called, but i didn't know. but i'm so sick of maybes, so sick of telling myself he's okay, so sick of telling myself to trust him to call, and so tired of fighting all this frustration and disappointment.

trading spaces, changing rooms
mood: what do you think?
a nice blast of humid, hot air. The first thing to greet me upon my arrival at Changi. yippee. The flight was not too bad. i rather enjoyed the turbulence...the kind that jiggles your cup (filled of course, with orange juice that threatens to slosh all over you) around the tray. It reminds me that i'm somewhere high above the clouds, sitting in a huge hunk of metal powered by uncomfortably tiny engines. Looking out of the window at night, the whirring man-made engines look strangely 'unnatural' against the sky and the blanket of clouds. Like they shouldn't be there at all. It's a miracle, i think, to be on a plane with 200 hundred other people, thousands of feet in the sky. And surreal, to have the stars shining down on you, unwaveringly following you across cities, countries, continents and oceans, as though they were guiding you to a final, safe destination. Well, that's what i tell myself at least. And the rainbow. As the plane left Taipei, i was staring out of the window, wanting to arrive in Singapore real bad. And then suddenly there it was.....not a tiny, faint now-you-see-it-now-you-don't rainbow, but a huge big in-your-face rainbow, the kind that you want EVERYONE to know about. It formed a very pretty multi-coloured halo. i remember thinking: Richard Of York Gave Birth In Vain = Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. Hmm.. how do you remember the colours of the rainbow? Yar. that settled me down a bit, and i conked out for the next 2 hours. =) i sat next to someone who knew some berkeley friends, and who was headed to singapore to visit his girlfriend. good conversation, pretty much by chance since we both made some seat changes. So, time flew by and he got to see my baby bolster and my ugly sleeping face. poor guy.
So that was that. Now that i'm on solid ground and 'home', i feel traces of apprehension about coming back. That strange feeling of having been suddenly displaced, and shoved into this whole new life. I start calling/emailing/contacting friends, unpacking, replacing all the US stuff in my wallet with singapore ones, getting used to the people around you. I feel like a little bird, flittering around and then suddenly returning to the nest it was born, and starting life there all over again. Then, one day, just as it starts looking and feeling more like the home it knows so well, it flies off again, and things change. I know i will start feeling less this way soon. But it's different this time though, coz he'll probably be in New York with the guys, coz he's not around for me to talk to whenever i want to, coz singapore seem that much emptier without him. But i'm not sad or anything. I hope he gets to new york and has a fantastic time. And for me, i can't wait to catch up with old friends, and meet new ones. What's irritating, is having to leave things hanging in the air. Then coming back the next time and trying to pick up from where i left off.
Oh well, no major complaints though. I've spoken to a couple of close friends, and we got all excited about meeting up (sushi buffet and windsurfing, here i come!). Also, i really want to visit my parents in malaysia. Plus, seeing my grandparents' faces light up....priceless. =) yep. don't complain, don't complain. =)