Dreams
mood: veryvery happy
Hmm....haven't written in quite while. But there's so much to say..so much that i've been thinking about..but somehow, i just can't and don't want to put it down in words. It's just that i feel so much in my heart and that's where its going to stay. It's just been such a wonderful 5 days. It's a pity i had to spend so much time in school. It's just so hard tearing yourself away from the warmth and comfort of someone so important to face the cold outside air and the boredom (and loneliness) of a long school day. bleh. We're leaving for Vancouver tonight. Glad to finally be taking a break....and gladder that we are finally able to share them together. It's rather miserable seeing him only 2 months every year. People say that absence makes the heart fonder, but...it's just so hard to go through each day without, once you know how wonderful a day with is.
Okay, no more whining.. Hmm. F was driving in front of me on the way home from school. Thought it was quite funny...both of us eagerly driving back home in the middle of the day. i wonder if we experienced a similar anticipation and felt a familiar happiness...*wink* Life just feels so different now. There's so much to catch up on, so much to talk about and it feels so nice just being able to see each other's facial expressions. Every smile, every frown, every grin, and every loving gaze.....just goes straight to the heart...and fills me with so much emotion. gosh, i miss this feeling so much.
My friends too, have given me so much cause for happiness. Thanks mich, got your card. Yep, i know what u mean....haven't seen u in almost a year...but i know when we all meet up we'll revert back to our crazy, wacky childlike antics. Especially Angie...=P I'm really looking forward to summer too! Glad that everything's going well for u in UK....and don't care about the boring s'pore guys lah...must look for british Prince William lookalikes. =) And Kaiy, thank u thank u thank u.....received all the stuff from u and the other canoeists..please help me thank them. I really don't feel that close to them...so i'm really touched. Really happy to receive prezzies (yay!) but happier that i've got a friend in you. Still remember how we met...and clicked...must be fated to be friends forever liaoz lah...poor me. gotta put up with your loud voice and boorish antics. (oh....and your you-know-what too!!!! haha...don't whack me!) You're a wunderfully sweet and warm person..and people love you. Me included! =) Alright...someone else beckons. Think he's getting bored with the guitar. Enjoy the warm weather everyone! Have a great spring break...
I'll miss u yoek, but i know you'll have a great time in sunny mexico...see you soon!

butterflies in my stomach
mood: can't wait

3,2,1...
he called from the airport just now. This means he's really on his way. means he'll reallyreallyreally be here in 15 hours. Somehow, i still can't and won't believe it until i see him in front of me, in the flesh. It just seems so unreal... my life in Singapore is finally crossing paths with my life here. Don't they seem like two entirely separate worlds at times? oh sheesh, i don't feel like writing. don't feel like doing anything! Instead, i just wanna lie in bed and wait and wait and wait for 5pm to come... enough from me for now...

Hope you're having a good flight dear... Please take care. =)
let's share this precious time together...and have a very special spring break.

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damn, i'm falling asleep in front of the comp again. Better go sleep and awake to a better tomorrow...zzZ

a trip down Moeser Lane
mood: pretty cheery
been feeling rather under the weather lately. Been bogged down by alot of happenings. Mostly midterms. *sighz* There just seems to be a neverending vicious cycle of homework, midterms, quizzes and readings. I try to tell myself to do constant work, keep up with readings etcetc...but i never do. At the very most, sudden moments of industry are just well, moments, but usually resulting only in cleaner clothes and a neater room. Because i'm pretty far behind in my readings...studying for midterms is a chore. a really tiring one esp. coz i do it( or rather try to) all in one day. I feel like i'm on a train chugging towards disaster...and as it draws closer and closer to the broken bridge (or something to that effect), i feel a sense of dread; my heart starts beating faster, my mouth goes dry ( and i get hungry but that's out of pt)...and even with only a few minutes left...i'm still desperately struggling to finish those chapters. It's a pretty darn unsettling feeling, but it's been like this the past 3 midterms this sem. *groan* said i'm gonna catch up on my 5-week back log of reading during spring break...but yeah right, what are the chances? i'll be too busy lah. hehe =P
Took a little trip up Moeser lane on the way home. Was debating between that and chicken from KFC...eventually the sunset won me over. It was beautiful, as usual. Actually 'beautiful' doesn't do it justice. As one overlooks the entire bay and looks past the Golden Gate, out onto the endless Pacific, there is just this sense of awe and of overwhelming vastness. It seems like a whole new world to me, and i pinch myself just to make sure that i'm really there- so close to San Francisco, to the Golden Gate, and to the edge of the Pacific. My eyes can't get enough of the wide expanse of shimmering blue water, sprawling shadowy hills, and far away in the distance, a huge blanket of clouds looming over the ocean, threatening to engulf the land. and when i'm driving up, it sometimes seems to me that as the road goes up and up, it continues on and on, all the way to the heavens...Then when u turn around and drive downyou see heaven. Lucky kel and jane. it must be wonderful living up there... *dream.......dream dream dream..* Someone once mentioned that after seeing the same scene every single day makes the experience lose its freshness and its beauty. I absolutely disagree, and so too do those who live there. Called Kel after the sunset to pop by her place and borrow the guide to Vancouver(happyhappy joyjoy). Turns out that she was out there too...moments before, watching the same spectacular sunset on the very same road. I'm glad we shared that moment together, even though we didn't know it. It's just nice knowing that there's someone out there, thinking, doing, experiencing the very same thing. Kinda like An American Tail, where Fievel sings 'somewhere out there' to the family that he's lost...(that show made me cry so much when i was little). Moreover, the view should not be wasted...yep, told YK i'd bring him up there someday.
Maybe it's just like being in love. Love too changes your view of the world. Even though one experiences it every single day, we seldom get tired of it....in fact, we can't get enough of it. There's something slightly different about it each time u look at it, but somehow, it never fails to amaze or surprise all over again. And sometimes, clouds roll in and rain sets in, but nevertheless one day, the rain will stop, the clouds vanish, and a rainbow appears in its place...A naive comparison perhaps. Yes, if anything, love is probably greater.

we've had our fair share of ups and downs, but i'm glad we go through them never too far from each other...and we come out of it stronger, closer, and more appreciative of the sunny days together.
a day to go...to have someone go up Moeser Lane with me...=)

Rain or shine

mood: sleepy
i wonder what it'll be like to have a meteorologist as a friend. I was watching television ealier and i just started wondering...Would he be any different? Would he carry over into his personal life the detailed weather reports ("oh, you'd better bring an umbrella..we can expect low clouds coming from the northeast, bringing light showers and heavy fog"), the deliberate hand movements ( "over here *sweeping arm movement* we see that the weather will reach a high of 63 degrees while there *careful positioning of entire body* the low pressure system will yadayadayada..."), or the false enthusiasm (wow, that is a really exciting large rock in that corner over there!!!)..hmm..i think i've been watching far too many weather reports. =) I think they're quite interesting actually. I can actually stay totally engrossed in a 5 minute weather report. Must be something attractive about the swirling low pressure systems and the animated sunny/coudy/rain pictures hovering over the area i reside. Yep, i juz thought it'll be interesting to meet a TV meteorologist. In fact, most professions should be interesting in their own different ways. And of course, people are too. Coming to Berkeley has made me realised just how big and how varied the world is. I've met all kinds of people here. Not just people of different nationalities and colour, but people with different beliefs, different outlook on life, different goals, different cultures and different values. I'm sure many people only come to hear about Berkeley through reports of protests, riots, sex class gone wild, gays, homeless, druggies.(even a mini-earthquake!) Well, that's alltrue. In my short 2 years here, these have all really been a part of the experience. I've seen streakers running around in broad daylight, the homeless and how they sit around and beg, the punks/punkettes(?!) with an infinite number of piercings and tattos...
If there's one thing i've gotten out of this, it's acceptance. Here, people are not as quick to judge, more willing to listen and will accept whoever u choose to be. You counld walk around with curlers in your hair, or could juggle oranges walking to classes for all i know. In singapore, sometimes when u do something different on the MRT for instance, many people will stare/glare and look like they think you're crazy. Here, no one bats an eyelid. Okay, maaaaaybe they'll sneak a look, but generally you're left alone. No hard feelings, no premature conceptions....
...i have more to add...but i've been dosing in front of the comp (while typing!) for the past 10 minutes. It's time to rest, i have to come back to this issue another day, another time.... (oh boy, u should see the number of typing mistakes i'm making. ) I would like to type more..ack. but i reallycannot make it...not now at least

A special Day

Hey Vin, Happyhappyhappy Bithday! Hope u got a pleasant surprise! heehee =) Can't believe we're the 2 oldest ones... Anywez, best wishes once again, and hope u had a nice day. Take care!

a moment in time
i can sincerely say that today has been the best day i've had in a long time.
my heart sings and i feel warm. snuggly wuggly warm. a day when i truly experienced the beauty of friendship. a day dedicated to two of my dearest friends. It's been a while since i felt a real connection that overwhelmed me. and to have two in the same night is amazing.
Thanks pang, for sharing with me a part of yourself...and for still looking upon me as a good friend, although i haven't been there for you all the time. It's been 8 years. And i still remember so clearly 'knockknock', and the way your eyes disappear when u smile, and yesh, your bad habit that drives me insane. =) I'm really happy for you, and i think you're great, so don't let what others think get u down okay? *mummy loves baby* yep?
And kaiy (yar..i'm finally calling u that), where can i start? i'm glad we finally got a chance to chat. You don't know just how much u've changed my life ever since that fateful friday 4 years ago. It's amazing how close i feel to u, and how i can tell u absolutely anything. When i think of home, you're definitely a big part of my thoughts. I don't know what i would do without you, you've made me feel so loved and cherished..and i hope i've made u feel that way too. I may not have mentioned u in this blog earlier, but those close to me have definitely heard about u and how wonderful u are (altho i'm no where as good a 'salesperson' as u..haha). This is one friendship where i can look confidently into the future and just know that it'll continue to be a large part of my life. you've got so much going for you, just learn to open yourself up to certain possibilities...keeping in mind that things don't have to be perfect all the time. take your time ya? I'll be here to talk, anytime. =)
I'm not going to say anymore, because nothing can describe the feelings in my heart right now.
yes, this will be a day to remember.

tick tock
mood: reflective
Somehow, nothing much to write even though there's so much going on inside.
Time has passed by so quickly...and it's time to hand over our duties and responsibilities to the next batch.
Maybe it scares me....that time brings people and relationships into your lives, but can just as quickly take it away again.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go...
Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts
And we are never ever the same..."

March will come and go...and he'll fly in and out of my life...
Soon May, June, July will come and go...and someone really close to my heart will leave Berkeley.
Soon 2003 will come and go..and the time will come for me to leave this chapter of my life behind.
but perhaps i'm thinking too far ahead...Perhaps i should just focus on the time we have left together instead.
After all, time waits for no one...

Some more inspirational messages here....i guess they're kinda like things out from chicken soup for the soul....but no matter how glossed over some of those stories are, they still touch me and inspire me to be a better person.

* * * *
Hey guys, i got the card...*big group hug*
saved me from a bout of loneliness...
I know you're all really busy, so this is greatly appreciated! =)
I'm really looking forward to summer....more bubble tea, dinners, gossip and THE TRIP!
yay...keep the emails coming too 'kay?
(psst...kok wee, i need more updates man...*wink*)

* * * *
I need a server to upload some pics to post here...any suggestions?
tripod/geocities i think don't allow the direct linking of pictures here...helphelp!

Fragmented thoughts of a sleepy person
oh yesh, i wanted to add...
had a lovely dinner tonight. Yoekie and i cooked a meal of dou miao, couscous and fried carrot cake together. We had't really done that in ages. *sighz* i don't know why. Differing tastes? No time? haiyah, whatever they may be doesn't really matter. I had a great time eating and chatting to you, yoek. Just like the 'old' times huh? I miss those. must talk to u as much as i can before u fly off to France. and we must visit all those places on our 'special places' list, ya?
*BIG HUG* glad we shared a gal bonding session today. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!

Come what may...
mood: sleepy
wanted to write earlier...to add to yesterday's post..but time just flew by.
yepz, time flies by when you're having fun. And i sure was. Just finished watching Moulin Rouge with yoek....GREAT movie. It started off all in-your-face and outlandish....with lotsa underwear showing and closeup shots of ugly/weird/bitchy/etc faces. Okay..i'm sure most people have watched the show liaoz. Ohoh..but it was REALLY nice sitting on the futon with yoek, and snuggling under a big warm comforter in the darkness (haha..that sounds rather scandalous). One thing about it we didn't like? EWAN MCGREGOR LOOKS LIKE A WIMP. plus, he opens his mouth too big when he sings. Towards the end i was cringing just at the thought of seeing that mouth wide open. =D Apart from these little err...blemishes, i really enjoyed the movie. The style was zai. I love the close-up shots...and the sudden shift of scene. Felt like i was taken on a journey into the Moulin Rouge...and actually having mny emotions being pulled along. i know my description is not doing justice to it... i can't write larh...not beautifully specifically...and somehow, i just find to so hard to put my thoughts to paper.... It's partly due to a tendency to jump between thoughts, but mainly coz my writing cannot make it. Oh dear, i'm falling asleep in front of my laptop....i'd better get some sleep. Or else i'll look like a panda at the AGM tomorrow. Yepz, tomorrow is the day where we can pass over the reins to the next committee...i hope it's a success. Thanks Faith, Yoek, Kash, XY, HK and Nic for making this experience a happy one; no fights, no squabbles, no resentment. Only lotsa talking and enjoying each other's company. Yay...=)
(group meetings!)

7 days to go.....oh how i wish time goes by faster...till nextnextnext sat at least...